Family.

I was able to spend time with some family today that I don’t get to see often. Unfortunately we were brought together due to a death in the family. My uncle passed away last night. To be honest, I didn’t see him very often but of course I loved him. I always remember him being a quiet but very sweet man. I saw him a few weeks ago and he couldn’t talk but when he saw me he got this big smile on his face and put his arm out to hug me. I can’t help but feel so sad for my aunt during this time. I’m so glad he’s not suffering anymore, but I know this will be so hard for her. To be with someone since you were 17 years old and having them as your best friend and partner in life and then losing them seems…..more awful than I can even put into words. I’ve been with my boyfriend since I was 17 and I just couldn’t imagine the heartache that would bring me if I were to lose him. My best friend. I love my aunt so much. She’s one of the best people I have in my life. The most supportive and understanding person. You could tell her anything about yourself and she would never judge you. And not to mention she gives the best back scratches.

Being around my cousins today just made my day honestly. It sucks that we were brought together today because of something sad, but I also think it’s special because even if we don’t see each other at all, we’re able to come together as a family and be there for each other. I love all of my cousins. Playing with the little ones was so fun, and tiring. Maybe because i’m pregnant and tired, but most likely because i’m lazy lol. I loved seeing my second cousins who are the oldest. They are gooorgeouss and so smart and ugh, I wish I had spent more time with them. That’s the shitty part about living kinda far. I mean, it’s really only a couple of hours but when you’re a teenager you don’t always think about seeing your family who lives far from you. Now that i’m older I wish things were different.

My family is kind of a big ball of…a somewhat mess. I won’t go into full detail but things aren’t always easy for everyone. I’m sure every family has their drama and issues but stubbornness definitely runs deep into my family. Once you piss someone off, you could be cut off for life. Personally, I’m not that way. At least I try not to be, but if someone wants to cut me out, I’m not one to chase after them either. If you hurt me bad enough and aren’t willing to communicate to resolve the problem then I’ll stay gone. Is that bad? I don’t know, but that’s just how I deal with that kind of situation.

Anyways, I am 10 weeks and 2 days today. The only symptoms so far are gas (TMI, sorry, but everything seems to make me fart. lol), and the nausea is coming back but only at certain times so it’s not an all day thing like it was before. I can’t really think of anything else at the moment. I have another doctor appointment on Wednesday so I can’t wait to see my little one bigger and hopefully measuring perfectly.

I’ll update when I can!

 

Insulin.

Ugh, the thing that keeps me alive but also makes my life really hard these days! I’m talking about insulin adjustments during my pregnancy. I have recently been having the worst nights sleeping lately because my Dexcom will go off multiple times alerting me that I am having a low blood sugar. Most of the time I don’t feel symptoms so I ignore it. I also doing something really terrible, I will put in a fake glucose reading just to keep it from going off. I know I know, thats really bad. Please don’t tell my doctor, lol. I will however wake up once I get symptoms: sweating, hunger, my brain feeling all weird and fuzzy. I keep snacks in my nightstand to help. Lots of little candies!

I started lowering my bed time insulin dose last week I believe. I started out with 11 units of Lantus pre pregnancy and now, tonight, I am taking 8 units before bed. After the past few days of still continuing to have lows, I decided to lower it another unit. I am not sure what took me so long? I feel like I should have lowered it another unit like, yesterday. Oh well. Let’s see how tonight goes.

Once I wake up from my phone going off a million times, I’ll lay in bed awake for about an hour until I can fall asleep again. And then I have to pee. And then I actually get that low my phone was telling me about so I have to force myself to eat a candy even though I’m too tired to actually chew (weird, I know). And then I have to pee again. Listen, I’m using this blog to track everything I am going through. Although I am extremely blessed I even get to experience pregnancy, I am also extremely tired of having diabetes. It sucks especially when I want to just eat 5 chocolate chip cookies as a snack. Or eat an entire pint of Talenti’s Vanilla and Caramel Swirl ice cream. Ugh, diabetes probs.

Also, update on the nausea and food aversions. They’re still here. Torturing me. The meds help with the nausea a bit but they don’t take the food aversions away. I can honestly only eat what I crave and I only crave things that I see other people eat or that I hear someone mention. Example: earlier today my mom mentioned sushi so I of course, HAD to have Japanese for lunch. Beef Teriyaki for the win!

I’m going to try to post once a week so I’ll get back to you once I’m 9 weeks!