She’s here.

My GIRL is finally here. (Well, since almost 3 weeks ago)

Born March 11,2022 at 11:16pm! Weighing 8lbs 7oz and 20in long 🥰

I’ll start this blog post off with my labor and delivery story. It began on the 10th. I went into the doctors office to get a foley balloon around 11am. There, they told me I was 2.5cm dilated already. I went back home and did absolutely nothing until around 6pm-ish when it was time to give L&D a call in when to come to the hospital. Also, side note, the foley balloon did give me some discomfort at some point and just made me have some cramping. Anyways, I went to the hospital around 7pm. Once there, I was able to pull the foley balloon out. So it was determined I was already 3cm dilated. Then they gave me a pill to also help with induction. As time went on they decided to start good ol Pitocin. But before they did that, I decided to get an epidural so that I’d be covered and wouldn’t have to feel the contractions.

The epidural was the most anxiety inducing thing ever. For my first delivery, I didn’t feel it because I was having contractions but I could definitely feel it this time and I hated it. 0/10 would recommend lol. But also, I definitely do recommend for the benefit of not feeling contractions. I just really didn’t like that experience.

I hit a mental block on the 11th when I wasn’t dilating more than 4cm after being checked a couple of times. I started to get frustrated with my body. And they didn’t want to break my waters until I was at 6. I wasn’t sure if I was going to have a c-section or not. They never brought it up but it worried me anyways. At one point they decided to try and break my waters but the bag of water kept moving away from them so they couldn’t do it.

At around 9pm, they eventually were able to break my water and not long after I was feeling a lot of pain under my belly button with every contraction. They had someone come in and give me more of the epidural but it wasn’t helping. Closer to 11pm is when they finally checked me again and I was at 10cm. The pain I was feeling was probably just pressure to push! I pushed quite quickly and once she was born! When she was laying on me being cleaned off, I asked jesse what she was (because nobody told me if it was a boy or a girl) and this man said BOY! The nurse said “uh dad, you might want to look again” and low and behold, it was a girl!!!

Not long after all of that, when I went to feed her for the first time, I started getting nauseated. I eventually threw up. And then again. And again. I began getting so dizzy and nauseated and was extremely sick. I threw up 6 times. And poor Jesse had to hold Ella while she cried and cried. I couldn’t feed her. I couldn’t move. I was stuck in a bloody pool of a bed. They gave me two anti nausea meds and neither worked. Eventually they gave me a Benadryl which helped me sleep and made me feel better once I woke up. I was so weak. i completely missed out on the initial bonding time with my daughter. Writing this out and thinking about it brings me so much sadness. I know I have her now and don’t have to deal with it but it just wasn’t how I pictured it all to go.

Levi’s first reaction to meeting his new sister was priceless and I wish I got it on camera. He ran to our car and just wanted to kiss her and hug her. On the way home he was talking to her. It was the best feeling in the world. To have him love her. He still loves her. When we do tummy time, he just wants to be close to her and talk to her. This morning he asked to hug and kiss her. He’s taking it so well. He still gets so much attention and doesn’t seem put out. I think the only thing is that he doesn’t get what he wants in an instant anymore. That he has to be more patient because we also have to pay attention to Ella now too. He never complains though. God, I’m so lucky to have him as my son. Ella is lucky to have him as a big brother too.

So, wrapping this up…I’m not sure I’ll ever want to be pregnant again. The experiences were a little too much for me. And my heart is full. I still can’t believe we have a girl. I never thought I’d ever have a girl.

Also, I’m extremely sleep deprived. And my hormones are crazy. For some people the transition of 1 to 2 kids is easy. For me, it’s been a challenge. Im super anxious about everything. Super emotional. So freaking exhausted.