35 weeks.

Well, we’re almost to the finish line! Only a few more weeks left. I’m anxious, scared, excited, relieved. All the emotions.

Lately my symptoms have been restless leg syndrome at night, indigestion before bed, going pee a million times a day, still moody, terrible pelvic pain, constipation, headaches, and not much of an appetite or wanting to cook.

It’s all fun stuff over here guys. kidding. Totally kidding. I’m pretty miserable most of the time. Which really bums me out because I want to be happy and I don’t know how to find happiness.

I finally have a therapist who I really like and so far it’s been going well with her. I still have some highs and lots of lows. I’ll probably start Zoloft in a couple of weeks to help with postpartum. I’m really nervous for PPD and not connecting with my baby. Like, very scared about it. But at least I’ll have some support to help me through. i don’t really feel like I have a huge support system. I mean, I have friends who I can talk to but at home I feel completely isolated. And it really sucks.

I was having an Okay day until this evening. Sometimes communication in a relationship is tough, especially when one person doesn’t want to communicate. I’m left with all these thoughts in my head and they start to consume me and I start to get angry. but I don’t know how to fix it.

Anyways, diabetes wise I’m all burnt out. I’m ready to give up at this point but of course I won’t. My pump leaves a bunch of marks all over my stomach that itch like crazy. I’m somehow allergic to the adhesive. So I can’t wait until that goes away after having baby. Maybe I’ll go back on MDI for a bit to give my body a break from the pump because honestly it’s kind of annoying to deal with. Although convenient.

Anyways, there’s not much I have to say. I’m depressed a lot of the time. I just want to be happy but it seems hard to do most days. A lot of people bother me and I can’t help it. I don’t feel like I have the best support system at home (including family members). I’m agitated easily. Nobody really understands me or really tries to. I usually get insulted “oh you’re so crabby” “you’re so emotional” “god you’re so sensitive”

Those comments actually hurt my feelings. But why do they care