How Not To Plan A Wedding

It’s been quite a while since I wrote on here! I’m currently planning my wedding, which will be in TWO WEEKS, and I am STRESSED! It’s not even a huge wedding (obviously due to COVID…but also I’d never plan a huge wedding anyways) but I feel like I’ve done every single thing to somewhat screw up. With that being said, I wanted to share what I did wrong so you don’t do that and become more stress free! I never really reached out to anyone for help or advice because of my circumstance. First, I don’t really know anyone who planned a wedding during a pandemic. Second, I decided to go through Pop the Knot (look ’em up!) and it’s like a whole package deal which makes things very convenient for me (shoutout to my good friend Angela for finding them for me since I had no idea how to start planning for a wedding). So you might be wondering why it would be stressful if I went that route. I honestly thought I would be stress free because I chose to do it this way but in the end…the stress is inevitable.

First, once you pick a date and are looking at venues, VISIT THE VENUE! If you can, please go check it out. Look at what the weather is during the time of day that you want to get married at. Google it if you can. I did not do this. We visited the ceremony site months ago and we didn’t even find the right location so we didn’t worry too much. We went last weekend and since it’s in San Francisco, it’s extremely foggy and somewhat cold. How did I not think about this? I mean, Karl the Fog is a well known ….guy? lol. You know what I mean. We couldn’t see the bridge like I had hoped and I had already bought Levi shorts to wear to the wedding. I googled the expected weather hoping it’ll be clear the day of the wedding and it most likely isn’t going to be. So back home I went, upset and quickly placed an order for express shipping for Levi to have pants to replace the shorts for his outfit. I also realized since it’s along a trail that many people might possibly be walking by. We’re currently in the middle of a pandemic and I am super paranoid of being judged for having a wedding during this time. Maybe you’re someone who’s judging me right now. I have some justifications to it but I’m not sure they matter. Regardless of what I keep trying to tell myself that it’ll be alright, I can’t help but worry about what others might think of me…even if they are complete strangers. I’m also not happy about the thought of people watching and staring at us. It’s one of my biggest insecurities? If that’s what you want to call it. I absolutely hate being the center of attention, which is why I’d never have a big wedding anyways. Luckily it’s just immediate family (our parents & siblings). Anyways…do real research. Don’t just go on yelp or google to look at images. Visit the place, look up the weather, foot traffic, etc.

Second, DO NOT WAIT TO TRY ON DRESSES. Trying on dresses wasn’t something I was actually excited about doing to be honest. I didn’t want to try on dresses in front of people, even family or friends. Again, I’m an insecure ass bitch. Do I bring spanx? Do I wear a bra? Do they go inside the dressing room with you and see all your lady parts?? It sounded awful! So as I was kind of researching where I might want to go to try on dresses, COVID happened and it all got cancelled. I didn’t really look into if places were still open or doing things by appointment only so I went through Etsy and purchased my dress from someone who could make the dress I was in love with. Again, since I hadn’t tried on dresses before I had no idea what kind of style would be most flattering for my body type. I’m not a thin girl and definitely need some sort of help in the stomach area to smooth that all out to feel comfortable in a dress. Anyways, I ordered my dream dress. It arrived a week ago. I tried it on and absolutely hated it. All I could focus on were my flaws and it brought me to tears. Now what was I supposed to do? I quickly went online and made appointments for two bridal stores. I went to the more affordable one first and I ended up trying on dresses that I hated but eventually found one I liked. It was the very last dress I tried on and it was actually a size smaller than my real size. It fit me but obviously I needed my right size. They, of course, didn’t have my size available in store so I had to order it. Let me tell you, I am so done with ordering things online. I have to pick it up next week once it’s been delivered and I just pray that it comes on time and isn’t somehow delayed or something. So yeah, start looking for dresses early on. It’ll save you a ton of stress and heartbreak. And if you do decide to order online, I still recommend trying on dresses in a store to see what style suits your body best.

Third, DO NOT WAIT TO GET YOUR MARRIAGE LICENSE. The past several days have been extremely stressful for me regarding this. A marriage license lasts 90 days so you have 90 days to get married or else you have to get a new one. Because of COVID, I was unsure if the wedding was actually going to happen. I just kept thinking it was going to be cancelled so I waited until the last minute (last week) to look into getting the license. Due to COVID, my county isn’t doing walk-ins anymore. Before, you could just walk right in and get your license and walk right out. Now, you need to make an appointment to go in and get your license. There were no appointments left for this month! The woman on the phone told me I’d either have to delay my wedding or go see a judge afterwards to make the marriage official. I definitely cried after that phone call. One thing she did mention though, which I am very grateful for, is that I could get my license in a different county. In California, you don’t have to get married in the same county that you got your license in. So we luckily have an appointment next week in Sacramento to get our license. Hoping things go smoothly and that’ll be one less thing to worry about next week! GET YOUR LICENSE RIGHT AT THE START OF THE 90 DAYS. It costs less than $100. I originally didn’t want to spend that money if it was just going to go to waste but honestly, I wish I had just done it at the start of the 90 days because it would have saved me a lot of tears, anxiety, and stress.

There are still things I need to do or things that take up my mind right now. We need to make sure we get our suit/dress (his is being altered right now). We need to get our license. We need to pick a song for me to walk down the aisle to. We need to decide if we’re going to have food or not, and if so, what should I get? Due to COVID, there isn’t going to be anyone to cater the wedding. We only have a permit for the park for two hours and after the photos are taken it should be right at the end of our allowed time limit. There are no park benches to sit and eat at so if we do have food it’ll be finger food and it’ll be a tailgate essentially and to be honest I don’t really care to do that. This is a super small ceremony, not an extravagant wedding. It’s definitely not the most perfect wedding I would have imagined for myself but it’s what I’m going to have and that’ll be fine. I’ll also be doing my own hair/makeup/nails, so that also stresses me out because I just hope I don’t screw it up and make myself look horrible. There’s probably more I could add to this list but for now this is what I want people to know, haha.

Oh, and never let anyone try to make you feel like crap for not inviting them. Again, we’re in the middle of a pandemic and I want to keep people as safe as possible which meant I had to keep it immediate family only. I do not have the time or mental space to deal with feeling bad for not having certain family members at my wedding. Trust me, they’ll live. I guess I just don’t understand why someone would be so upset. If I was uninvited due to COVID, or purely not invited due to space or because the bride and groom wanted a small wedding, then so be it. It’s their special day, not yours! Nobody wants to feel sad on their wedding day.

I’ll update in a couple weeks when the wedding has finally happened! I am full of anxiety but also excitement to finally marry my best friend.

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