Two.

My baby is finally two years old. Should I cry now or later? Time has absolutely flown by and I want it to slow down. I cry thinking about how one day he won’t need me anymore or won’t want to cuddle me until he falls asleep. He brings SO much joy into everyone’s lives and I can’t imagine my life without him. Even when times are hard and I feel overwhelmed, I am so glad to have him in our home, by my side, making us laugh with the silly things he does.

I haven’t updated on here in a couple of months, simply because there wasn’t much to update anyone on. And when things did happen, I just wasn’t feeling it. As everyone knows, we are in the middle of a pandemic. Early May news was swirling around but of course mister 45 was saying it wasn’t anything to really be worried about. Once the issued the first shelter in place (SIP), I was terrified. Mostly due to my health condition, but also for family members and just what in the heck we were all going to do. I called out of work that first week because I wasn’t sure what to do. By the second week, I was laid off. I had already had a feeling it would happen to me because I only worked two days a week and I didn’t really consider my position a necessity to the organization to be honest. Then they let everyone in my department go, and that was a shit show. There were no warnings to anyone. It just happened like that *snaps finger*. People were devastated. I was devastated for them and then for myself even though I had seen it coming for me. Imagine if this happened to me while I was full time and getting health benefits through work? I consider myself damn lucky because they would have screwed me if I was still on their insurance. Yes, I am getting unemployment so if you want to look at that as also being lucky during this time…I get it. They did a permanent lay off which means if I want my job back, I’d have to reapply. I think the way they went about this was wrong and disgusting, so I really don’t know if I’d ever go back which makes me super sad because it was my dream job. I felt like I was good at it and I loved the people I worked with. It was a good environment in that sense. So, moving forward…I’m going to focus on my family and I think being with Levi and Jesse helps me a lot. I don’t really have time to sit and dwell on what happened to me and my friends. I mean, I could do that but then my son wouldn’t have my full attention and that would be terrible. I’d rather just do what I’m doing.

SIP. So it’s been almost a month I think? I kind of lost track. I go to the store about once a week (me and Jesse switch off or he’ll go in the middle of the week if I forgot something). Sometimes we get bored at home but I think having our routine helps a lot. Wake up, breakfast, chill, lunch, Levi’s nap time, chill, go for a walk, eat dinner, chill, sleep. I try and work out every morning and that helps me A LOT. It gives me a purpose for each day and gets me in the shower and motivates me to then get ready for the day (hair and makeup). I’ve noticed that if I sit in my pajamas all day without makeup on, I feel gross and sad. I definitely have days off from working out but for the most part I still try and get ready for the day anyways. Levi’s been doing well during this time. I think he’s already been used to us being with him a lot anyways so not much  has changed. Jesse’s job isn’t affected as much except he’s working at home and not going to any of his properties or anything. I’m anticipating the SIP to last even longer. It’s a shame people are going out protesting this and thinking it’s some type of government control (IT’S NOT, PEOPLE! WHY WOULD THE GOV WANT THIS). Anyways, I digress. Last week we finally did our laundry room! We were going to have someone put in cabinets above our washer and dryer but we woke up Saturday and Jesse said, “lets paint our laundry room” and I was like, “okay!” Super exciting stuff. It turned out amazing and absolutely love it and can’t wait to paint our room! I wanted to hire someone for that but you know what, the longer we’re stuck at home the more I’m just going to want to do it myself. Also, due to the SIP we most likely won’t be getting married this August. Can’t really see it happening since I can’t go dress shopping or figure out who’s going to do my hair/makeup…etc. I was pretty bummed about it but Jesse keeps reminding me that it’ll all work out and if we have to get married next year then so be it!

On top of working out as much as possible, I have switched up my diet! Have you heard of the book Mastering Diabetes? It’s a very good read, regardless if you’re diabetic or prediabetic. I have tried to have a high-carb low-fat diet. I’m not perfect at it at any means, but I’m trying my best. My blood sugars have been AMAZING. I’ve been eating smoothie bowls for breakfast, fruits for my snacks, and eating a bunch of high-carb goodness. I’ve cut out meat for the most part and try to avoid cheese as much as possible. Not going to lie, when I make tacos I still like to put a little dollop of sour cream on top and I think that’s ok 🙂 I also will put a little yogurt into my smoothie for breakfast since it adds a nice creaminess (and protein!). I’m really bad at hitting the protein goal every day but I’m trying to find other ways to get it in. I’ve noticed my meals are so much more filling and I feel GOOD! Definitely eating more whole foods and I’m excited where this journey takes me.

Now on to the most important person….LEVI! I know I talked a little about him in the first paragraph but this kid is FUNNY. He cracks us up all the time and he’s so smart! He says his ABC’s and can count to 13 (super random, but that’s the number!). He knows a few shapes and we’re currently working on colors! For some reason this seems to be the most difficult for him to get down but it’s okay, he’ll get there. We’re also thinking about potty training. Well, we’re mostly trying to get him comfortable with the potty. We’ve had one for a couple of months now in our bathroom and he never sat on it except he randomly did the other day. Now, when I ask him if he wants to go potty he goes to it and sits down! He doesn’t actually go potty or anything but the fact that he knows what it is and that you’re supposed to sit down is a start. I’m thinking in another month or two we’ll be able to progress. Having a birthday in quarantine kind of sucks (I know from experience a couple of weeks ago) but I’m really hoping to make his day special! At first I was only going to get him a couple presents, but then I got kind of wild and we got a couple more. I just want him to have a special day. I’m going to make his favorite- spaghetti and meatballs and we’re going to have cupcakes that I’m going to bake! I’m excited and can’t wait. I’m writing this a day before his birthday because I know tomorrow I won’t want to write at all. With all that’s been going on I feel overwhelmed with writing anyways. I was going to get all sappy on here about Levi but then I’d cry. I just know that he is the absolute perfect person for us and I couldn’t be more grateful to have him as our son. We constantly ask ourselves how we got so lucky. He is literally perfect and so freaking cute. I’m biased, I know. He’s at the best age and we don’t want him to grow up! He’s so friendly and loves being around other kids. He’s still obsessed with cars, especially his monster truck cars and has one in his hands at all times, he even falls asleep with it in his hands haha! He LOVES cuddling, especially his mama. He can’t fall asleep without holding on to my hand or arm so if I move my arm away from him too quickly, he’ll reach for it and pull it back to him. And it won’t work with Jesse’s hand or arm, it has to be mine. He wakes up every morning and pops up and says, “Truck?” to which we then have to grab his truck and give it to him and he’ll lay back down for another 30 minutes or so. Loud sounds always frighten him, even sounds on battery powered cars or trucks. He loves trains and garbage trucks! He’s also into watching YouTube videos and constantly asks for the “memote” (remote) and YouTube if our TV is on anything different. If you’re not paying attention to him he’ll come up really close to you and say “Hi!” until you focus your attention on him (it’s my absolute favorite thing in the world). He loves going on walks around our neighborhood with Jesse, it’s their “thing” and it’s also my favorite thing because it means mommy gets some alone time for ten minutes, haha. But also because I want them to have the best bond ever so I love when they’re together. His vocabulary is huge and I swear he says a new word almost every day. Sometimes I can’t wait to have conversations with him but then I remember that he’ll be so big and I’ll miss this time right now. I just love him SO much that I could eat his little arms and leggies. I hope he has the best second birthday and many many more! I am so proud of my boy and I hope he’ll always know how much I love him and how much he means to me!