Things I Thought I’d Never Do.

1. I THOUGHT I WOULDN’T LET LEVI WATCH TV.

I seriously thought I never wanted him to watch TV. I mean, there’s nothing educational right now for him, right? Well shit happens and you have a fussy baby and the only thing that’ll keep him quiet so you can cook dinner is letting him watch baby shark on YouTube. Or in the morning when he wakes up at 4:48AM and putting on Nick Jr so that he’ll be content for an extra 10-15 minutes instead of kicking you and crawling all over you. It’s necessary and I shall never judge another mama for doing that!

I actually can’t stand him watching TV for long periods of time so it’s not like I’m letting him watch it for an hour or more. I hate seeing him zoned onto the screen instead of playing with his toys and that’s just how I feel personally. I really don’t care what other moms do because hey, we need a break every so often and that’s OK!

2. I THOUGHT PACKAGED BABY FOOD WAS THE DEVIL.

I had a goal of never feeding Levi Gerber baby food. Well, that didn’t last long. I actually started out making him his own purées but once he started going to my in laws they started feeding him pre made baby food. I was actually really upset about it at the time especially because I worked hard to make him his own food. So then I bought organic only baby food and then people started giving him Gerber baby food which also bothered me because I didn’t like all the added stuff in it.

Fast forward to now where Levi has eaten a ton of Gerber baby food. We actually feed him mostly what we eat and less pre made food (except puréed fruit since he won’t eat the real stuff because picky!). It actually helped him eat textures and I can’t believe how against it I was. For some reason I just thought it wasn’t healthy for him and I was so delusional.

3. I THOUGHT PEOPLE WHO LET THEIR BABY SLEEP WITH THEM WERE STUPID.

“Like, omg, you’re baby sleeps with you and not in their own room?!”

That was me. Before having a baby. Before learning how hard it was to wake up multiple times in the middle of the night to feed my baby AND wake up at 5:30 to get ready for work. F that.

Okay so I know SIDS exists and it’s actually scary AF so if you’re smart and have more determination than I do, stick to putting your little one in the crib. But I’m stupid and lazy and also love sleep so my kid sleeps with us at night. I love it to be honest. I love waking up next to him but I also get anxiety when I think about SIDS. I’m actually trying to put him into the crib at night now (he’s in it now!) but he always ends up back in our bed because he’ll wake up every 30 mins or so crying/screaming and when we’re tired we just give in. Judge us. It’s a work in progress. For our next kid though, that baby is never sleeping in our bed so that I don’t have to deal with this problem ever again, lol. I love the company but also want my bed back *shrugs*.

4. I’D NEVER LET MY ANIMALS NEAR MY SON.

So after working where I work and just knowing that animals are animals and are unpredictable, I thought I’d never let Wilson or Moka near Levi.

So I’ll just say this, I don’t let Levi touch them because I know Wilson wouldn’t like to be pulled on and Moka also wouldn’t like to be pulled on. I mean, what animal would? Wilson’s actually amazing and ignores Levi and I love it because I don’t have to deal with keeping him away from Levi or him getting in his face. Moka will get close to Levi and there have been times Levi has pet her head or touched her back and she’s never swat at him or hissed or done anything negative. With all that being said, I thought I’d never let Levi interact with our pets as much as I have. I’m definitely not saying to go and let your baby go all over your pets. You should never do that!! That’s just asking for trouble. I think exposing them all to each other is actually beneficial, though. Just always be present!

5. I’D NEVER JUDGE MY BODY AFTER PREGNANCY.

I always thought moms who were so harsh on themselves after giving birth were idiots. Like, you just grew a human being!! Why would you get frustrated with yourself? You should love your cellulite and stretch marks and flabby stomach!!

Then I became a mom. Then I had this whole new body I’d never seen before. My clothes didn’t fit and I hated myself so much that I ate my feelings and gained weight so that I never wanted to leave the house. I didn’t even want to get dressed or let anyone see me. I never got a lot of stretch marks so I wasn’t insecure about the ones I did get but I was for sure insecure about the weight I gained after giving birth. What happened to bouncing back?? Why not me but those girls on Instagram?

Point is, I get it now. No matter how many births you go through I’m sure your after birth baby bod will always feel unfamiliar. Even though I’m starting to feel comfortable in my own skin again, I know I’ll go through these feelings again sometime down the road. I want to tell myself not to beat myself up because I did something so miraculous but that’ll be hard to do. Loving myself is and always will be a journey.

What are some things you thought you’d never do before having a baby? Isn’t it so wild how your thoughts and opinions change? One thing I don’t ever want to do is introduce Levi to an iPad. When I see kids with iPads I cringe so hard. But hey….shit happens and I might change my mind in a few years (praying I don’t, haha).