Christmas Pictures & Stressful Work Week.

I’m finally sharing my Christmas pictures that I took a couple of weeks ago with family and friends! I was trying to keep it a secret because I wanted our Christmas cards to be a surprise. I absolutely love how they turned out, even though Levi was pretty confused the entire process, haha. On the way to our appointment he fell asleep in the car so when we got there he had no idea what was going on. We couldn’t really get him to smile much but he wasn’t fussy until the very end, so I’d say it was still successful! I’ve always wanted to do a family Christmas card so I forced Jesse to do this with me and I’ll continue to force him to do it every year…hehe.

Last week I worked five days instead of my usual four and by the end of Saturday I was pretty beat. I was extremely sad because I felt like I hadn’t been with Levi all week because after getting home I only had a couple of hours with him until it was bed time and then we did the same thing the next day, and the next. I have no idea how some parents do it! Obviously it’s kind of a must to work unless your partner makes good money for you not to…Anyways, yeah, I definitely cried about it because I just missed him so much. I can’t expect my coworkers to understand the feeling so I don’t talk about it much. Levi’s been extremely fussy the past few days, too, so I’ve been a bit sleep deprived as well. Jesse was really nice and let me sleep in today (I slept until 7:30) and I took a nap with Levi earlier today which lasted about an hour so that was also quite nice and much needed. We think his top teeth must be coming in because he’s been sucking his bottom lip a lot which is what he did before his bottom teeth came in.

Speaking of Levi, I’ve been feeling like I haven’t been moving as fast as other moms when it comes to introducing solid food. Today I tried scrambled eggs and he gagged so I’ll try them again another day. Maybe the texture? I still haven’t done meat. I wanted to make some sort of soup with chicken and then puree it so that might be done later on in the week. I’ve been wanting to do that for the past few weeks and just haven’t gotten around to it so I need to force myself to do it. Not like meat is a necessity by the way because if I was a vegetarian or vegan I probably would never introduce it to him so I guess that isn’t a huge deal. I’m probably going to introduce peanut butter soon, too. I read to introduce it between 6-8 months instead of the 12 months it used to be. I don’t know. There’s just too many rules and I get all caught up in stuff and I get scared to do it. I also feel like I don’t have as much time as other moms because I’m just go go go and I don’t feed him most of his meals because breakfast and lunch is usually fed by whoever’s watching him that day.

Lately I’ve been wanting to get back into reading, not sure if I mentioned this before but I want to get myself off of social media and into something more mentally stimulating. I know that I’m on my phone for longer than I’d like to admit. I do have to say that I have  cut back a lot since having Levi because I’m so preoccupied with other things, but in my spare time I’m just scrolling and with scrolling comes comparing my life to other people’s lives which isn’t a good thing. I just ordered a book and it came yesterday so I plan on diving into that when I can. My last book took me a while to read because of life just getting in the way and me not having much down time, so I’m sure this book might take some time also. Last week was so exhausting that after I’d put Levi down to sleep I’d go to sleep soon after that. Like, before 10pm or even before 9:30. Maybe that’s late to some but that’s really early for me compared to the time I used to go to bed at.

I’ve also been missing being pregnant lately. I loved my bump and I loved how I looked. Isn’t that wild? Sure I had some aches and pains and walking would get uncomfortable at times but I really miss feeling those little kicks and knowing there was a little baby inside of me. I had a dream recently where I was laying in bed and felt kicks in my stomach and I took a pregnancy test and it came back positive and I was so happy! I was also scared because of my diabetes but I woke up kind of sad that it wasn’t true! Don’t worry, we’re not having another baby anytime soon but we’re going to discuss it more when Levi is a year old. It makes me sad that I can’t be like a “normal” woman and just get off of my BC and be like, “yeah lets try!” because I have to go see a doctor and work really hard to get my blood sugars good and then begin to try to have a baby. I guess it’s just more work for me compared to non-diabetics but it makes me happy that I successfully did it once so I know I can do it again! I’ve always wanted a big family since I didn’t have one so Jesse and I both agree that we want four kids. Minimum of three. I know you’re probably thinking we’re crazy and maybe after our second I won’t want any more but I really want all the babies! I want my house and heart to be full even though I know it’ll be chaotic and everyone will drive me nuts, haha.

This week I have Thursday off so I’m excited to spend time with Levi. Christmas is approaching a bit too fast and I’m not sure how I feel about it. After having Levi I couldn’t wait for the holidays but now I wish I could soak them in a bit more. These weeks are flying by and it makes me sad because I want to slow it all down and enjoy everyone in my life. I’ve been thinking about my Nana a lot and I’ve had random bursts of crying when I think of her so I think it just makes me want to be around my mom a little more. Life can be really hectic sometimes and spending time with people you love may get overlooked but it’s really important to just stop for a second and make time for them! Hope everyone has an easier week than I did last week and don’t forget to tell your loved ones how much you love them and even pay them a little visit!


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