16 Weeks Postpartum.

Wow, my little baby is almost 4 months old! He has been such a joy lately, despite the random fussy moments but honestly they’re not too bad once their over (lol). WE FINALLY HAVE HIM IN THE CRIB! He goes down at 9:30 after a bottle and he’s either passed out or pretty sleepy and he’ll sleep for about 3 hours at first and after the first wake/feed we’re able to put him back in the crib but after he wakes up again around 2AM it’s kind of game over and we just put him back into bed with us. Hey, it’s a work in progress! I’m trying to minimize the night feedings but that’s hard to do since he gulps the food down and acts like he’s so hungry instead of doing it for comfort. That’s my opinion anyways. He’s been rolling over onto his back a lot more during tummy time and I swear he’s trying to roll over from his back onto his tummy because he’ll kind of roll and lay on his side for a bit but not make the full roll onto his stomach. Yesterday I made him laugh so much and it was the cutest thing. I love his laughs, bubbles, and random noises (yeah, I know I’ve mentioned that before but I will never stop loving it). We finally ran out of size 2 diapers so we’re putting him into size 3. Gotta use up everything we have before we actually have to go out and buy them! The size 3 fits him well anyways. He still loves standing. He’s been a bit more fussy in the car recently if we go out for a drive but the early morning drives when I take him to whoever’s house in the morning before work are always a breeze. He’ll either go back to sleep or just hang out. He still enjoys his walks and being outside. I can’t wait for cooler weather so that we can be outside more because I HATE the heat so I’m a total hermit in the summer because being hot and sweaty is not my fave.

My diabetes has been alright lately. It’s not terrible, only when I eat bad. Lately I sort of have been doing whatever because of my mood. I’m constantly feeling overwhelmed. It’s a weird feeling that I’ve never quite dealt with before. I’m not sure if I would classify it as anxious or not because I just don’t know where this is coming from. I feel like my brain is constantly running and I have a million thoughts and even more worries going through my head. I hate having to go through this actually. I think I’m also having the postpartum hair loss now because I lose so much hair in the shower it’s ridiculous. Even if my hair is dry and I run my hands through it I’m able to pull out so much hair. Annoying! I really am trying to eat healthier, making a lot of salads and cutting out an after dinner snack. When I’m in a crappy mood I definitely don’t hold back completely though (ice cream I hate you and love you so much). I’ve found the perfect dark chocolate to essentially satisfy my sweet tooth. 76% Dark chocolate bar from Ghirardelli is bomb.com!

One topic I’d like to touch on really quickly (well, let’s see how long or short this will become) is judgement. Whether it be with how you raise your child or even your pets. I recently took my dog to a trainer and I only wanted to tell certain people who I knew (or thought) would support me and have an open mind. Well, not everyone was supportive and I could tell by how they talked to me even after I explained everything. They said they supported me but I’m smart enough to know that they weren’t. Why is it that people are this way? They try to take your happiness away and shit all over you because of a decision you made that doesn’t effect them in any way. I was SO happy yesterday with the progress we made with our dog and by the end of the night I was crying and felt like a terrible person. I’m not a terrible person. I’m helping my dog. I’m protecting my dog by doing this. If you have an aggressive dog then maybe you might understand what I’m going through. It’s terrifying to think that he could one day do harm to someone and be euthanized. Why would I allow that? THAT is what would make me a terrible person. Knowing he’s dangerous but ignoring it. I made a decision to help him using certain tools that have an extremely bad reputation because so many people use them wrong and ruin their dogs. It’s usually people who never went to an experienced trainer and were never taught how to properly use those tools. Jesse told me last night that the only approval I needed was his, and he’s right. It’s OUR dog so all we need is each others approval. The tools used are something you have to research for sure and not everyone is comfortable using them and thats OK. I used to be the one on the other end who thought people who used a prong collar or e collar (unfortunately called a shock collar but is an electronic collar) were the devil and were evil evil people. Look, not every dog is the same so not every dog can be trained using the same methods. Would these tools help a dog who’s suffered any kind of abuse and is supper skittish? Probably not. I think the most common misconception is you slap the collar onto the dog and just go HAM pressing the button on a high setting. Wrong wrong wrong wrong. Definitely not how you go about using it. The prong collar just helps while training. Do you keep it on your dog as their regular collar? Definitely not! I could probably go on and on about this topic because I’m actually so interested in all of it and I can’t believe how so many people, like myself once, are so misinformed. If you’re someone who’s already judging me by reading all of this then we aren’t friends. You don’t know me or my situation. If you DO know me and my situation and you’re still judgy, then we really aren’t friends. If you have any type of curiosity then I’d suggest looking up the BENEFITS of using those tools. If your mind is already filled with a negative association with the tools maybe try looking at the positive side. If you’re still not into it then thats completely fine! It’s seriously not for everyone and I wish more people would be OK with that.

This past week has been filled with a lot of emotions leading up to the training session. I even thought about flaking on the trainer because I was so nervous and scared! Now I realize I’m doing what’s best for my dog. The training tools go on when it’s ready to train and come right off once we’re done with our walk. Once I get better I’d love to post a video or something because my dog has already made such an improvement. I wish I could take him out right now to work with him but unfortunately it’s just me at home and the baby is asleep!

A photo the dog trainer (@teamfloppyears on instagram) took of us during our session. Using the wall really helped keep Wilson right next to us instead of trying to cut us off while walking. He isn’t a terrible walker but he can definitely do better. We can always do better 👍🏼.

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