14 Weeks Postpartum.

14 weeks! Wow the time has flown by and my baby keeps growing and doing new things almost every day! I got some good laughs out of him last night. I really almost cried because it was the cutest thing. Anybody else tear up when they just stare at their baby with awe? The other night he was laying next to me because we were going to bed and I couldn’t stop staring at him and I kissed him on the forehead and he opened his eyes and smiled at me. MY HEART! It’s the most precious thing in the entire world. I love him to pieces and I’m so blessed to be his mom. He’s already taught me so much.

Being at work away from him is healthy for my mind because I don’t sit at home and think negative thoughts about myself or my life. Work goes by fast and I’m constantly busy running around, which I love. I had to work yesterday which is usually an off day for me so I was pretty bummed about that. Sunday’s are the only days I get to spend with my little family so I tried to stay positive and think about my future paycheck to get through the day.

This post might be short because 1. I’m exhausted and 2. I don’t have much to say! He changes so much but then I feel like he still does the same as last week. He laughs, he checks out his feet when I hold them up for him, and he’s growing so much! He drinks about 4-6oz now and still wears his 3-6/6 month clothing. I’ve given up on the crib sleeping because I’m just not consistent and neither is Jesse. He never put him in there once while watching him over the weekend *enter eye roll here*. I can’t do it all myself! Also he still wakes up multiple times throughout the night and it’s so easy to make a bottle and feed him in bed and then we go back to sleep. I did order the Merlin Sleep suit so once that comes I definitely want to try it out with the crib again to see if it makes a difference. Who knows. I also ordered a book to help a girl out so I’ll be reading that as well.

In diabetes land I’m doing okay. My blood sugars are definitely better being at work because I’m constantly moving. I’m still a chocolate lover so it’s really hard to stay away from that right now. I still hate the way I look and just being at work or in public makes me extremely self conscious. I’m hoping with all the walking I do at work it’ll help me shed some pounds. I keep having to remind myself that it will take time and I won’t look how I used to overnight. It’s a daily battle with myself and it’s so shitty. I just want to be happy with myself. I feel like lately I don’t care to talk or be around anyone. Not because I’m depressed but because I just enjoy my own company. Sitting in silence with no TV on or anything, on my phone or computer or hanging out with Levi. It’s really nice. I also enjoy being in the kitchen cooking dinner. I don’t really do breakfast or lunch unless I have a lot of time. This morning I made me and Jesse avocado toast with a fried egg and bacon. It was easy and quick, but not something I do every day. Lately I haven’t even been eating breakfast because I’m just not hungry.

Anyways, I really wish had photos to add to my blog posts lately but I definitely don’t want to put pictures of myself or my baby so I’m stuck! I’ll figure out something soon.

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