25 weeks and 5 days.

Okay guys, I officially can’t paint my own toe nails. It is uncomfortable and every time I paint a nail, I have to lean back to take a breath because I cannot breathe while I bend over. Haha. This past week has gone pretty smoothly. Not too much back pain, if any. I will get headaches occasionally, sometimes right when I wake up. No cravings. Still have acne *insert sad face*. My belly has definitely popped within the past week for sure. I feel huge, even though many people have told me how small I look. I don’t see it lol. I have yet to get any stretch marks but I know those can come out of nowhere towards the end of pregnancy so I’m not holding my breath on that one. I have a doctors appointment next week so I can see how much weight I’ve gained. I started out at 140lbs and I honestly can’t even remember what I weighed at my last visit. Maybe 153/154? My brain is completely blank, oh well. Hopefully I’m right on schedule and haven’t gained too much. I just worry about weight because I’m a diabetic and I just don’t want to risk having a big baby.

Well I’m starting to stress more and more about my delivery. My due date is April 27th but we all know I won’t make it that far so I’m wondering if I’ll have to be induced or if I’ll naturally go into labor before then in my 37th or 38th week. I’m also worried about having a c-section. The thought of having a legit surgery scares me, but also being in pain pushing a child out of my you-know-what scares me lol. I know that an Epidural is there for a reason but I don’t like the thought of a needle going into my spine and me being numb so I kinda wanna go natural. I’m sure those of you who have given birth are laughing at me right now for saying that knowing I’ll change my mind, but let me be naive! Kidding, but I can’t stop thinking about how it’s all going to go down.

Emotionally I’m doing alright. I feel like I’ll have days where I wake up and I feel down. It could be because of my Nana. I think about her multiple times a day since she’s passed. Her service was last Sunday. Talk about a hard day. I tried to think of other things when people spoke, or look away when pictures were being shown because if I truly paid attention, I would have completely lost it. The pain is still there and fresh. My heart hurts whenever I think about how I wanted her at my baby shower and wanted her in my sons life, and she won’t be. I only hope I can at least be half the woman she was. She was incredible. Absolutely a best friend of mine, and not many people can say that about their grandparents. I just want to hug her. Sometimes I still think it’s not real.

In lighter news, the past few days have been good in managing my diabetes. Yesterday and today I’ve noticed a bit more highs, as in being in the 130’s or 140’s after meals when I should be lower so tomorrow I will try a different insulin to carb ratio. Right now my ratio is 1:6 so I think tomorrow I’ll try 1:5 and see how that works out. OH YEAH! Exciting life news, I GOT A NEW CAR! When I became pregnant, and even before I got pregnant, my boyfriend and I discussed how we’d want to get rid of my car to get a car that would be bigger for the baby and our dog. We’ve been looking online for awhile now and we knew what kind of car we wanted but just wanted the right price and we finally got it! I am obsessed with my new (used) 2012 Chevy Equinox. It is so comfortable and the inside is a lot roomier so it’s the perfect mom car! I can already tell that my dog is a lot more comfortable in this car than my last. Ah, I am so excited for my future with my little family and to see where life takes us!

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