Finally A Crawler.

Alright, guys, he’s finally doing it. He’s crawling! It’s a cute army crawl and he kind of crawls like a wounded soldier (hate to compare it to that, but it’s true). He crawls to things he wants like toys and mommy of course but sometimes he gets frustrated and puts his head down and pouts if we make him crawl to something. At least he can do it so that’s all that matters to me! I was vacuuming earlier and he crawled around the corner of the wall to watch me because he’s always so fascinated when I vacuum. It was so cute!

Another big moment that happened just yesterday was that he finally ate baby food that had chunks in it and didn’t gag! Woohoo! It’s a mac and cheese with little pasta pearls in it. He loves the pureed version of mac and cheese and when I tried this chunky one a week or so ago, he gagged and spit up all the pasta pearls and yesterday he ate them. So happy! I also fed him a piece of my English muffin and he loved it! I’ve really enjoyed my time with him yesterday and today. It makes me extremely sad to go to work tomorrow.

I was lucky enough to have an extra day off of work this week and I’m already 10x happier this week. It makes working the harder weeks worth it, I suppose. I had an awesome workout yesterday that I really wanted to try and do today at home but today sucked ass in terms of self motivation and I overall just felt like crap all day. I’ve had this lingering feeling as if I’m going to get sick but I don’t end up getting sick? I think it’s allergies honestly but it’s still a crappy feeling. I was exhausted all day today and when I tried to take a nap with Levi my Dexcom alerted me that I was having a low blood sugar so I had to get up from my nice deep sleep. This leads me to a small story time about what happened when I went to go treat my low blood sugar. I went and got a small apple juice and drank that and then I went to go have some leftover pizza in the fridge. I squirt what I think is ranch onto the foil and dip my pizza into it and take a nice, big bite. As I’m chewing I look down and think, “this ranch looks weird” and then I glance over at the squeeze bottle and see that it’s MAYONNAISE. Did you read that correctly? Have you gagged yet? It made me so nauseous for about an hour after just thinking about it. Actually thinking about it right now really grosses me out. So yeah, fun stuff.

I ate a lot of carbs today and I’m pretty mad at myself about it. I started my morning off right with a nice protein smoothie and then later got McDonald’s hash browns that I just seemed to be craving. Then I ate the slice of pizza and ordered Philly Cheesesteak for lunch which I didn’t even end up wanting because of the whole mayo fiasco but I ate my sandwich anyways (I ordered only a half so that’s not as bad, right? And I was too grossed out to eat the fries). For dinner I made garlic butter noodles. Even though it’s carby, it just sounded good after all the shit I ate earlier. Now that I’m typing everything out, I just want to barf. Hopefully tomorrow will be better. I’m sure it will be because I’ll be at work and I’ll be moving around and what not.

So yesterday after the gym I got into my car and saw the check engine light on. I drove home and right as soon as I got into my back parking lot, my car stalled and wouldn’t drive anymore! The gas pedal did nothing. Jesse was able to turn it back on after I had turned the car off and drive into the parking spot but UGH my car sucks right now, or has been for a while. We took it in today to fix whatever was wrong with it so I’m hoping I won’t run into any issues with it for a while. Anyone else waiting for their tax refund to come in? Sheesh. It’s like as soon as you get some money, shit hits the fan and you don’t even get to save any of it! I’ll be good though, it’s okay.

Anyways, I’ve got all my meals planned out for the week and I’m super excited for dinner every night! Sunday night I cooked the BEST dinner I’ve had in a long long time. I don’t usually eat steak or even crave it but I wanted a filet mignon with roasted asparagus and smashed roasted potatoes. It was delicious. I should probably share the recipe….okay if you’ve made it this far then I’ll just tell ya! It was pretty simple…

Get yourself some filet mignon steak. I had two and cut them in half since they were pretty thick. I seasoned with salt, pepper, and a little onion powder. I cooked them in butta baby! I spooned the melted butter over the steaks as I cooked them. I cooked them for about 4 to 5 minutes on each side or until I felt like they were done. Two were thicker than the others so I cooked them a bit longer. They came out perfectly and melted in our mouths! So delish. The asparagus I seasoned with salt and pepper and roasted for 20 minutes at 400 degrees. Roasted asparagus is like CANDY! So so so so so good. For the potatoes I used gold potatoes (the cute small ones) and boiled for about 25 minutes or so until they were soft and fork could pierce through them and then drained them once done. I then placed them on an oiled baking sheet and smashed each potato with a potato masher and I melted butter in a cup and added pressed garlic and parsley flakes and brushed each potato with this deliciousness and broiled the potatoes for about 10 minutes, then topped them with parmesan cheese, salt and pepper and put it back under the broiler for about 5 minutes. Honestly, just go on Pinterest and search baked smashed potatoes or something like that and I’m sure you’ll find a recipe you like. I’m not a huge potato person and just typing about them makes me want them again. Mouth watering good. Have you ever cooked something and had it turn out so good that you wanted to make it again for everyone you love because you want to share it with them? That was me after I ate that dinner the other night, haha.

I hope everyone has a good week, my apologies for getting this blog post out a little late!

A Weird Week Ahead.

So I know I didn’t post yesterday but I figured I’d just do it today. I had nobody to watch Levi for me today so I had to have it off but having today off meant that I have to work on SUNDAY *insert extremely mad emoji + crying emoji*. The one day I get to spend with my family, I have to work. I will forever pout about this issue and I don’t care if anyone thinks it’s annoying. It’s been extremely taxing on my mental health as of late. Don’t get me wrong, I love making my own money and getting out of the house baby-free, but it is really hard because not only am I working on a Sunday, I’m scheduled to close all week which  means Levi will most likely be asleep by the time I get home or he’ll be going to be shortly after I get home so I don’t really get to be with him. I do get to spend time with him in the mornings which are always fun so I’ll just have to soak it all in as much as I can.

Anyways, we tried giving him mac and cheese that had pieces of pasta in it and Levi was NOT a fan. He gagged and spit it out, so that’s great. I feel myself getting frustrated that he hasn’t progressed as fast as other babies and I need to snap out of it. He’s still isn’t crawling but I’m able to get him to kind of crawl when I place his favorite puffs in front of him! It’s a work in progress still. He loves to walk, though! Maybe he’ll get the hang of it in a month or so but he walks everywhere when we hold his arms up for balance.

My personal training is coming to and end pretty soon so I finally went to a gym over the weekend to get a 7 day pass so that I could try it out. I was able to go this morning for about 30 minutes and I was really pleased with the set up and I know if I go often, it wont take me long to get super comfortable there. I already feel more comfortable in a gym setting after all these personal training sessions I’ve had. The only thing I think I’d struggle with is coming up with a plan every time I go to the gym. Last night I wrote down workouts to do and how many sets/reps for each so that when I went today, I’d be more than prepared and I wouldn’t walk around like a deer in headlights. It was a success!

I finally got my cat back from my parents house. I missed her so much and as soon as I let her out of her carrier, my dog went right up to her sniffing her and wagging his tail. It melted my heart for sure! I think he missed her 🙂 I sure did. Well, this is a super short post and I’m sorry there’s not much going on! I’m feeling inspired to get healthy and excited to workout and eat better. I’ve been eating so freaking bad it’s insane. I just have to come up with new ideas to make food exciting again. It’s hard to plan dinner when I close at work because I get home late but last week Jesse made ground turkey taco’s following instructions that I gave him and they turned out awesome so I’m excited for him to make them again this week! We’ve somewhat ditched red meat and are sticking with turkey and chicken. Anyone else get grossed out by ground beef sometimes? Or maybe all of the time, haha. I’m probably more of a vegetarian than I think I am to be honest.

Down and Out.

 

This past week has been a bit uneventful so I’m not sure what to update you all on. I was lucky to have last Thursday off to be with Levi which I cherished 100%. He continued to have his cold through the week and is finally seeming to be better. He only coughs a little bit but it’s nowhere near how it was when he first had it. He’s doing a lot better. Today he’s been pretty fussy so I’m really tired. It seems like everything I try to do to keep him occupied only works for 10 minutes and then he’s bored of it. Doesn’t help that it’s been raining either so I didn’t take him on a walk like I wanted to. It’s windy and when the wind blows it’s super cold so I didn’t want to put him through that, although I’m sure he would have enjoyed getting out of the house.

I worked on Saturday, per usual, and then Sunday was fun family day! We went downtown to the farmers market but then it ended up raining so we weren’t there for long. We then went to my parents house to pick up a few things and headed home around 2 and then I had my tax appointment at 3. Blah, taxes. I didn’t realize how expensive it was going to be this year to file them.

My blood sugars have been extremely poor this past week. I’m not sure if it’s because I’m stressed out about personal things going on in my life or what. I’m talking about always being in the 200’s and last night I was in the 300’s and was high overnight that I ended up correcting but woke up at 180 anyways. For all of my non-diabetic readers, that’s awful blood sugars! I’ve been eating badly, too. It’s like I stopped caring about my health and I need to get on track somehow. I feel uninspired and I think because I had no worries while on vacation, I’ve brought that mentality back home with me? I don’t know.

So while I’m trying to get back on track with being healthy, I’m dealing with working full time this week and dealing with not knowing who’s going to watch Levi during the week. My aunt isn’t able to watch him tomorrow so I was able to get my dad to watch him but I didn’t think that was going to work out so I was panicking and assuming I’d have to call out of work tomorrow. Then, I’m working Thursday so I need to figure out who will watch him then. I don’t like to put him with the same person multiple days in the week because I always feel bad like I’m tiring everyone out because it is tiring taking care of a baby, lets be honest.

I woke up in a depressed mood and I’ve shed a couple of tears today. My emotions are out of whack and I’m probably spending too much time in my own head or something. I already can’t wait for this week to be over with. I have nothing special going on this week except for a doctor appointment via phone call on Wednesday for Levi. I was hoping it would be during my lunch hour but it won’t be, so I’ll have to pull myself away from work for a second since it’s really important. Levi still doesn’t seem interested in crawling but he does love to stand. He’ll stand while holding onto my shirt and if I put him far away from me (while holding his arms), he’ll walk to me and it’s the cutest thing ever. I was able to put him in his crib for his first nap today! It was successful and he slept for about an hour and half and didn’t cry once I put him down. I think I’m going to try to put him down in his crib tonight to see how it goes. I really want to transition him back to his crib by the summer since it’ll be hot and I definitely don’t want to share the bed with him when it’s 100 degrees in our house. The upstairs is always 10x hotter than the downstairs, and sometimes the AC doesn’t make much of a difference. So that’ll be fun. He still only has his two teethers and hasn’t been drooling much today. I’m wondering if his teeth will just randomly come through without notice because every time we think he’s teething hardcore and teeth will pop out, they don’t. He says “dadadadada” and “bababa” all the time and we love it.

Levi Is 9 Months Old.

Where did the time go? Technically he turned nine months old last week. It’s been quite a week since we got back from vacation. There’s been doctor visits and even an ambulance ride! A day after we got back from vacation I was able to book an appointment to see a speech and physical therapy pediatrician because of Levi’s lack of interest in solid foods. She gave us a ton of information and basically said that if he only wanted purees until 18 months, to let him eat purees until 18 months! Wild number in my opinion. I hope he gets used to solids before then but a mama can only hope, right? She gave us some tips and tricks to help move this process along and get him used to the textures of solid foods. So far, he isn’t a fan of the mesh feeder thing (don’t know the proper name so that’s what I’m  calling it). I’ve tried frozen banana which he wasn’t a big fan of and today I put spaghetti inside of it and he actually preferred sticking his hand in the spaghetti and sauce instead. I am happy about that one! He loved the spaghetti sauce. It had ground turkey in it so I made sure to break it up into smaller pieces and he enjoyed it a lot. He got fussy during our feeding so I pureed the leftovers and I’ll try feeding it to him later on tonight.

He just woke up from a  3 hour nap! I was able to sleep 2 of those hours with him and I feel a lot better too. My blood sugars were quite high when I woke up so I’m sure that’s why I was extra sleepy. Anyways, he’s been doing good with his naps and we don’t have any issues with him really. Some days of course are better than others but today he took some good naps! We went to the doctor today for his 9 month checkup and the doctor says he’s doing great. He says he’s measuring the size of most 15 month olds which I’m not surprised since he’s such a chunk. He’s 30 inches long and 26 pounds! The doctor said he isn’t concerned with Levi not crawling since Levi rolls around everywhere. You can put something somewhere and he’ll eventually roll his way over to it no matter where it is. We’re still doing a ton of tummy time so he’ll eventually learn to crawl, though. It’s one of my goals for him this month! Levi currently has a really bad cold so he’s been having a really bad cough and you can tell he has mucous in his throat because when he coughs, he’ll gag and then swallow which brings me to my next story…

Saturday morning he woke up with that nasty cough and I almost didn’t go to work that day because I was so worried about him. I had Jesse call the advice nurse and after all the questions she asked him, she said he was fine. Well, that night when I was feeding him before his bedtime he was being really fussy and then he’d cough that nasty cough and it would scare me. I decided to go downstairs to call the advice nurse again and while I was trying to get ahold of someone (so many automated prompts!), Levi started to projectile vomit. Jesse started freaking out which then made me freak out, so I hung up and called 911. They sent out an ambulance right away and while they were on their way, Levi was still throwing up. In the bathroom, in the bathtub, down the stairs, and in the sink. His face was all red and his eyes were watery and he looked like he was really having a hard time breathing right. I honestly thought our son was going to die. Like, really. It was so terrifying. When the ambulance got to my house Levi had stopped throwing up and was acting like he was completely fine. We decided to go on the ambulance to the hospital because I was afraid he was going to throw up in the car and I wouldn’t be able to help him like they would. The entire ride there he was content and hardly made a peep. His vitals all came back normal. At the hospital they checked his lungs and they said they were clear, which was my biggest concern. Levi really scared us that night. Apparently he was vomiting because of all the milk in his tummy and with him gagging when he coughed, it was probably his way of just getting everything out. He hasn’t thrown up since that night but I’m being really cautious with him. I was mostly terrified of this cough since the speech doctor told us that if he had watery eyes or a wet cough while eating it could mean that something is in his lungs so I was terrified of him getting pneumonia or something. He’s fine, he just has a bad cold unfortunately. The only remedy is for him to have some time in the cold air or steam and to just wait it out.

Besides all of that, he’s doing pretty good. He acts like the happy baby he always is. He talks all the time and loves to clap his hands and watch the cars go by. I still cannot believe he’s going to be a year old in three more months. We do let him watch TV sometimes (judge me all you want crazy moms!) and his favorite thing to watch is Paw Patrol. I don’t let him watch a lot of it because it bugs me when I look over and he’s just staring at the TV but he mostly watches it in the mornings when he wakes up. He still loves the Baby Shark video and I swear he dances to it now. Jesse went back to work today so Levi will be able to spend time with his family members again. Except things are about to change and I’m not sure how available some people will be so that’s a little stressful situation I’m in right now. I’m not sure if I’ll be able to work anymore but if I don’t work how will I get health insurance? If I didn’t have diabetes I guess I wouldn’t really care but I kind of have a serious disease to deal with so it makes a big difference. I’m not really sure what’s going to happen within the next couple of weeks. We’re going to be short staffed again and they’ll need me to work five days but I can hardly keep up with that already, and then throw on top not having anyone to watch my son? A big “WTF am I gunna do?!” moment. I guess we’ll deal with it when we have to deal with it…

 

My East Coast Trip.

Last Wednesday was the day Jesse and I flew to Boston and started our vacation! We were so sad to leave Levi behind, like really sad about it. The flight wasn’t too bad but it took about five hours, which is too long for us. I get stuck in the middle seat so I’m crammed in between Jesse and whoever else is sitting in the window seat. I’d love to have the window seat but I choose the middle to be close to Jesse since he loves the aisle seat since he’s a bigger human being (haha). I actually got lucky and had a very petite girl sitting next to me which meant I had a bit more room. We flew JetBlue for the first time and holy crap do they spoil you with snacks! Awesome! I probably ate a bit too much on this flight but I kept feeling I was hungry. Anyways, we couldn’t wait to land.

The weather in Boston was cold but it wasn’t too bad. I got an awesome coat from Old Navy that I wore throughout our entire vacation and it was amaaazing with the cold weather. Once we got to the hotel we decided to go out for a walk and see where we could have dinner. We found a cute little bar and restaurant and I kept things a bit light and had a steak salad and fries (ok, not so light). The food was really good! Where we were staying they had a bunch of shops close by so it was nice to walk around and do a little shopping. They have this really cheap clothing store called Primark and seriously, everything is really cheap but cute! Couldn’t pass it up.

The first full day in Boston consisted of us wandering around the city. There’s this brick line around the city called the “Freedom Trail” and it pretty much takes you to certain landmarks. We walked and ubered our way through the city and saw a bunch of stuff like Bunker Hill, old cemeteries, got pastries at the famous Mike’s Pastry, went by Fenway Park, went to the USS Constitution Museum, saw an entire lake that was frozen, and just explored our little hearts out! By the way, Boston is so beautiful! It was really clean there and there were hardly any homeless people on the streets. One thing though, is that everyone crosses the streets when they feel like it. They don’t wait for the sign to tell them to walk at crosswalks. They just go! It was weird to get into that habit while we were there. I read online beforehand that Boston was not a driving city and after being there, there’s no way in hell that I’d ever want to drive there. The roads are all windy and weird and don’t make sense compared to where I live. It kind of gave me anxiety while we were in the Ubers, haha. I’d definitely go back to visit again for sure, though. The food was good and the people weren’t too grumpy.

We actually went back to the airport the next day to rent a car to drive to New York. We didn’t fly there or get a taxi. I wasn’t feeling too good on this particular day. I kept feeling like I was about to get a fever or something, but I never did. Luckily I didn’t have to drive so I was able to sleep for most of the drive. We stopped in Connecticut to get lunch but we didn’t see much. There was a small part where it snowed while we were driving but it was excessive. We left Boston right in time before their storm hit and we escaped the snow! It took about four hours to get to New York and we had to drop the rental car off at JFK and then get picked up by an Uber to take us to our hotel. We almost had that rental car for a couple more days but decided not to. Thank goodness because I have no idea where we would have even parked in the city or how we would have been able to drive without running someone over. Like Boston, people just walk when there aren’t cars driving by even if their light is green. It’s insane!

When we finally got to our hotel and got settled in, we figured we’d walk to Times Square! We got an Uber to take us to a place to eat for dinner and then we walked to Times Square. We ate at this cute Mexican inspired restaurant and I had some bomb sweet potato and black bean tacos and corn esquites! 10/10 would recommend that place if I could remember the name. I actually wish I wrote the names down of restaurants but I didn’t! Arg, oh well. If you want my honest opinion of Times Square, it’s that I actually didn’t think it was that awesome. I mean, yeah, it’s all bright and lit up because of the huge screens but after being there for 10 or so minutes, I was ready to leave. Over it. Next.

Our first full day consisted of us going to the 9/11 Memorial and the museum. It’s incredibly sad and I didn’t take any photo’s inside because I just didn’t feel like it. I actually have no idea how people took photo’s of themselves smiling outside by the waterfall. Like, what?? Insane. I regret not getting the earphones because it would have been nice to have a guided tour. If I ever go back I’ll for sure do that. We then wanted to go check out the Statue of Liberty. Upon approaching the area that we were just going to look at her (not actually visit the statue) we were approached by this man selling tickets for a boat ride that gets you up close and personal. We decided to go for it because, why not? He took us to this sketchy bus which we waited forever for it to actually leave and take us to where we needed to go. Then it took us to New Jersey where we’d board this boat. New Jersey?! So weird, but we went along with it. We got on that bus around 1:50 and we didn’t go on that boat until 3! It was kind of ridiculous but we just went with the flow of things. We were able to get really good photo’s of The Statue of Liberty so I’m appreciative of that. We also got a good look at the Freedom Tower and the Brooklyn Bridge. It was freezing on that boat and it took a chunk out of our day but I’m glad we did it. After all of that and we were back in New York, we stayed in Chinatown and found a cute restaurant to have pasta in Little Italy. I knew I wanted authentic Italian pasta while I was in New York and I’m not sure how authentic it was or not but it was damn good and I have no regrets! I ended that night with a dessert and we then headed back to our hotel for the night.

The second day was supposed to be this big storm and we were supposed to experience a ton of snow. None of it happened! We got pretty lucky. It did rain but it wasn’t anything we couldn’t handle. We got bagels for breakfast and then headed toward Central Park where we walked around and then found a zoo inside! It was really cute and a nice, fun thing to do. We made our way towards Trump Tower (probably the only time a building would make me want to puke just walking by) and headed to Laduree for some macaroons. I’ve seen people post them on Instagram so you know I had to try them out! They were good and the shop was really cute! After all of that I knew we had to get some New York pizza! I’m not a big meat eater so I don’t often get slices of pizza with pepperoni and sausage on it but man oh man, was that pizza bomb digs! Just thinking about it now makes my mouth water. The pizza was the perfect thickness and had the right amount of sauce and cheese on it. Amazing! We went back to the hotel to hangout for a while before we went to see The Book of Mormon on broadway. I got the tickets as a gift for Jesse for Christmas and it just so happened to be on his birthday! It worked out great. He said it was one of the best presents he’s ever had so that made me really happy. It was a great show and made everyone laugh. After the show it was about 10pm and we hadn’t had dinner yet so we went to Shake Shack. It’s hard not to compare it to In n Out but the burger didn’t have anything on In n Out’s burger. The fries were pretty good, though. Jesse ordered their spicy chicken sandwich and that was really tasty and I wish I got that instead of my cheeseburger.

Monday, the day before we had to leave. It was FREEZING. It was 8 degrees outside but felt like -1 (according to the weather app) and it was awful. The wind hurt when it hit our faces so we put on our face masks that we brought (highly recommend). On this day we were home sick and tired from everything we had done in the past several days. We went out to a mall and walked around and did a little shopping, ate lunch, and then decided to head back to the hotel and do absolutely nothing. It was a perfect lazy day. We never left the hotel for the rest of the day. We ordered food to be delivered to the hotel. I was craving a burrito and he was fine with eating one too, so that’s exactly what we did. We watched tv and my phone was able to connect to the tv so we watched some stuff on Netflix, too.

We probably Facetime’d my parents 3-4 times a day to see and talk to Levi. We missed him SO much it was insane. But it was also nice to have time for ourselves and just be selfish for a small amount of time. It was the first time in 8 months that we had full nights of sleep without any interruption of a baby crying. I wouldn’t trade Levi waking us up in the middle of the night for the world, but it was nice to have a small break to get back on our toes. We both agreed that we don’t want to go on a vacation without him for a long while. We talked about him all the time and kept saying how much we loved him and how we wished we could hold him and squeeze him because he’s so dang cute. Ugh! The love for your own child is infinite. What a blessing he is to us! My parents had a good time with him which was awesome. They are great at being grandparents!

This concludes everything we did on our vacation! It already seems like it happened so long ago. Our flight home was 6 long hours and we were so ready to leave New York. It was a nice city and I highly recommend going if you’ve never been. I’m actually glad we went in the winter time because I couldn’t imagine going in the summer when it’s all hot and humid. I hate being hot. I actually wouldn’t mind going back when it’s in the spring or fall because I’d love to see how it is when all the tree’s have leaves on them. If you’re a foodie like me then you’ll love the city. Chinatown and Little Italy was where it was at for me. I ate so good but I’m really happy to be home and have home cooked meals. I’m sure I gained a few pounds but I’m not mad at it. We got lucky and had a gym at the hotel in Boston so I did workout once while we were there. If our hotel in New York had a gym we would have definitely worked out there but I guess the walking makes up for some of it, yeah? I’d also say that New York City is cleaner than San Francisco and the only real nasty thing we saw was a woman throwing up on the sidewalk. I actually ran past her because I didn’t want to listen or smell it. Yuck. Besides that, it was pretty nice.

I’m hoping I didn’t forget anything else to tell you all about. It was a great trip and I’m so happy that Jesse wanted to do this instead of Hawaii (which was what I originally wanted). If you’re debating on whether you want to take a trip with your significant other or a friend, just do it! Even if it’s only a couple hours away. Go! You won’t regret it.

The Final Countdown.

We leave in a couple days for the east coast! I am super excited but also super terrified and anxious. I know Levi will be fine but I still worry anyways. I have a feeling I’ll be crying when we leave him to go to the airport. Our flight is at 8AM so we’ll have to leave our house at 5 to make it there in time since we’re leaving out of San Francisco and there will be commute traffic. Whenever I think about it I start to get butterflies in my stomach because I’m nervous. If you didn’t know this about me, I actually don’t like San Francisco at all and whenever we go somewhere I always try to find flights out of Oakland because it’s closer. Anyways, we’ll be heading to Boston, MA first and then going to New York a few days later! I’ll be sure to take a lot of photo’s to share with you all!

So last week wasn’t too bad (from what I can remember). It was a lot of doing the same ol’ stuff. We think Wilson’s itching is coming from allergies that could be seasonal (did I already talk about this? whoops). We have meds to give him and a special shampoo to bathe him in to help with all the redness on his tummy. I’m extremely nervous to have my in-laws give him the medication on time. I just worry, you know? It sucks that this had to happen right before our trip and that I won’t be around to make sure he’s being cared for as much as he possibly can. I gave him a bath with the special shampoo today so he should be fine until we come back next week to have another bath. I worry a lot about him too while we’re going to be gone.

Levi finally ate shredded cheese for Jesse but hasn’t had any for me. Although he isn’t eating solids as fast as all the other babies I know of his age or older, I just need to not worry about it. He’ll get there eventually. Hopefully. I’m not going to give up! He’s such a joy to be around. I love when he babbles and screams, it’s music to my ears! Happy screams, that is. He still sleeps with us in bed, which I still love although I’m planning on putting him back into his crib once the weather gets warmer. It’s so cold at night that I just love having him with us to cuddle with. I remember always saying, “I’ll never let my baby sleep with us in the bed!” Totally judging other parents who did. Now look at me! Hypocrisy at it’s finest.

I posted a little body update video on my Instagram earlier because I was feeling so good about how far I’ve come. I was a little embarrassed at first but everyone’s got a body so like, who cares! Every woman is beautiful and unique in their own ways and it should be embraced completely. Whether you’ve given birth or not. It’s obviously so easy to say now that I’m feeling better about myself because I definitely didn’t have this mindset a few months ago. I was so ecstatic today and the other day when I tried on some pre baby jeans and they FIT! Like, didn’t have to suck in it at all. Sure, the number on the scale hasn’t gone down dramatically but it didn’t have to. I’ve lost body fat and gained muscle and I’m obsessed with everything I’ve been doing lately. I’ve really tried and I’m so proud of myself. Not every day is a good day. Yesterday I ate terribly and today was just OK, nothing great. I accept it and I move forward and continue to eat good. I don’t want to give this up. I’m totally bummed that my training is about to end soon. I’ll have to try to make all these gains on my own and I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t worried about it. I just hope I stay committed. I still haven’t signed up to a gym yet but there’s a new one close by that interests me so I plan on getting a free pass soon to try it out.

I feel like I haven’t talked about my blood sugars in a while. They were horrible a week ago and out of nowhere the past couple of days they’ve been awesome! Not sure what I was doing but they were pretty low actually that I seriously thought I was pregnant. I even took a test because they were shockingly low (not in a bad way). Pregnancy test is false, by the way. I must have just been doing really well with guessing carbs and doing the right amount of insulin! I did go high a couple of times today because I indulged a little. I finally got my Dexcom delivery and am wearing it right now! I should have never taken that break to be honest because it’s so helpful and it will be extremely helpful on this trip!

I have work tomorrow and then I’ll be staying at my parents house overnight so that it’ll be easier to leave in the morning instead of dropping Levi off at 5AM. I’ll try and write next Monday to talk about some of our adventures! Hope everyone has a great week 🙂

Stuffed Bell Peppers.

So I found this recipe online but I tweaked it a little to fit my own taste buds and what I had on hand! I will link the original recipe down at the bottom if anyone would like to try that one instead, but for this blog post you’ll be seeing mine!

I wanted to make something light but filling last week and I’ve actually never been a fan of stuffed bell peppers but it was the end of the week and I didn’t have much in my fridge. My mom used to make them and I always ate the filling and never ate the actual bell pepper. This recipe is different than what I grew up on and I think what makes them 10x better is that I don’t use green bell peppers! The peppers are nice and soft and totally delicious! Okay, enough of the rambling, let’s get to the recipe! (I actually don’t expect anyone to read this part because I never read these parts when searching a recipe but if you are reading this then hi! Hope you try this out and like it as much as I do!)

You’ll need…

  • 1lb Ground Meat, your choice (I’ve used ground turkey and ground beef and both work great)
  • 4 Bell Peppers (preferably red, orange, or yellow)
  • 1/2 Medium Onion, chopped
  • 2 Garlic Cloves, minced
  • 1/2 Can Diced Tomatoes (or a whole can if you want)
  • 3/4 Cup Frozen Corn & Bean Mixture (I found a southwest blend of frozen veggies at the store)
  • 2 Cups Cooked Rice (any kind you’d like, I used Minute Rice because it was quick)
  • 1 tbsp Chili Powder
  • 1/2 tbsp Cumin
  • 1 tsp Salt
  • 1/2 tsp Pepper
  • Shredded Cheese of your choice (Pepper jack, Monterey Jack, Mexican Blend)
  • 2 tbsp Water
  1. Preheat oven to 350.
  2. Slice your bell peppers in half and assemble them in a baking dish.
  3. Brown your meat on medium high heat, with no oil added to the pan. Drain.
  4. Add your onion and garlic to the pan and sauté for a few minutes or so until the onion is softened. If you need to add oil to the pan because the meat didn’t leave any after you drained it, then add a tbsp or so.
  5. Add your meat back into the pan and add your seasonings, frozen veggies and beans, tomatoes, and rice. Stir well to combine.
  6. Pack your ground meat mixture into each bell pepper, making sure to really fill them up. Once every pepper is filled, top with the cheese of your choice and however much you’d like.
  7. Add water to the bottom of the baking dish as this will help steam the bell peppers so they will soften while they bake.
  8. Bake, covered with foil, for 20 minutes. Then uncover and bake for another 20 minutes.

I usually eat my bell peppers with hot sauce and a dollop of sour cream because hi, I love sour cream and will never get rid of it!

*You might have leftover meat mixture and that’s OK! Put it in a tortilla and make a burrito for the next day. The first time I made this I only had two bell peppers and there were a lot of leftovers. For anyone in your family who doesn’t like stuffed bell peppers, just don’t use as many bell peppers and make burritos or tacos for them instead!*

Original Recipe

Yum!!

Feeding Struggles.

I’m absolutely obsessed with the photo above. It captures Levi’s curiosity and what he loves most: watching cars drive by and the outdoors. Yea, he’s inside in this picture but he loves being outside. I had yesterday and today off and it feels so damn good to be with my family. I’m so sad to get back to the grind tomorrow. I’m sure me saying I’m exhausted is repetitive by now so I’ll just assume you already know that.

Last week was a blur. I don’t remember much besides going to work and coming home every day doing the same thing. Yesterday was Sunday so it was errand day. We went to target to get our shopping done because I accidentally forgot to skip this week on Hello Fresh so we didn’t need much to buy this week. Today was more errands. I had to exchange an Xmas present, buy some protein powder, did some small shopping because I had a gift card, went home for lunch and then had to take both Moka and Wilson to the vet because I thought they had ringworm. They don’t, thank goodness. I have to bring Wilson back on Friday so a vet can look at him this time (they were busy when I went) but it looks like he might have allergies and be allergic to something. Could be food but it also could be seasonal allergies. Poor guy has a rash all over his tummy and he’s super itchy. We’ll most likely have to do medicated baths to help with it. Luckily at my work there’s a veterinarian clinic so I can just bring him to work with me on Friday. He’s going to hate me.

Levi hadn’t taken any naps today but finally knocked out around 3 right when we got home and he’s still asleep! It’s been two whole hours. I bet he’s going to feel amazing after this nap! I’ve been worried about his eating lately and how he doesn’t like touching any real solids and only eats purées and yogurt and what not. I’ve emailed his doctor and he’s going to refer us to a pediatric speech and food specialist. Last week was hard and I couldn’t help but blame myself for him being delayed. It still makes me want to cry honestly. Sunday morning I put scrambled eggs, shredded cheese, tortilla pieces, and blueberries on his tray and he touched the cheese and looked DISGUSTED. As if I had just put his own poop on the tray. He pulled his hands back and shook his head. We tried to put a piece of tortilla up to his mouth for a taste and he pursed his lips together, wanting nothing to do with it. I was so devastated. But I did end up having some victories the past two days, though. While I fed him his yogurt for lunch I just placed sliced blueberries on the tray so if he felt like grabbing them, he could. And he did! He put two pieces into his mouth but then they fell out and he didn’t attempt it again but I didn’t care though because I was just happy he touched them and picked them up! It was a small victory and I’m going to continue to put little pieces of food on the tray while I feed him purée. I definitely don’t want to force him to eat but I do want to get the ball rolling because it is important for him to eat food, you know? I’ve also been stressing about him not crawling but I talked to a friend and she told me her son didn’t crawl until 11 months old and that made me feel better. Jesse tells me everything will be okay and Levi will be fine but it’s really hard to watch your child not be 100% on track with every little thing when every other baby seems to be fine? I don’t know. I’m just a worried mama.

Anyways, it’s a new week. I’m closing three days in a row which will be rough because that means I barely get to spend time with Levi so I’ll definitely be on the sad side. Be nice to people this week (or every week) because some of us are on a struggle bus to happiness.

8 Months Postpartum. Christmas and Other Things.

How was everyone’s holiday?! It was so much fun celebrating Levi’s first Christmas! It was a very busy two days for us and I feel like I still haven’t had a chance to settle down and relax this past week. I had to work the past five days and I finally had today off and then I have to work the next five *sigh*. A working moms life, am I right? The holidays sure did come and go. I remember being pregnant and looking forward to Christmas with Levi. It was pretty special! I’m so glad we did a Christmas card. Stuff like that makes me really happy!

Anyone doing anything fun tonight? Levi’s currently taking a nap (5:53pm) and we’ll all probably go to bed around 8 or 9. Who knows, maybe I’ll be a rebel and stay up until 10! I don’t drink and I’m definitely not interested in partying to ring in the new year. I’m super boring, I know. Levi’s been quite fussy as of late and I think he’s teething because he’s drooling like a mofo. He still isn’t crawling and I’m trying to encourage it because it seems like everyone else’s babies crawled at 8 months but I guess he’ll do it on his own time. We’re still doing purées. I try solid food but whenever he touches it he doesn’t like the texture and will pull his hand back. I haven’t given up, though. I still haven’t fed him peanut butter or meat yet. I’ll get to it eventually. The meat I’m not too worried about. The peanut butter gives me anxiety just thinking about it. I wish I could feed it to him in a hospital just in case he’s allergic to it. He’s still waking up twice a night for a bottle. I have no clue how babies sleep all through the night. I try not to stress over it. I never thought I’d compare him to other babies but it’s finally happening and it sucks! I know every baby is different but sometimes I can’t help myself. Oh well.

We’ll be going on our trip in a few weeks and I’m getting so excited but also sad because I’m going to miss Levi and our pets so much. It’ll be really nice to get some uninterrupted sleep, though. Jesse has almost the whole month of January off because he’s taking the rest of his paternity leave now. It’ll really helpful since I’ve been working five days a week now. Works been pretty overwhelming lately. A lot of people have left recently which has put us short on staff so that’s why I’ve been working an extra day. Not going to lie, it’s really hard on me. I don’t want to complain but some days I just want to cry because I’m so exhausted and I miss having the extra day with Levi. At the end of the week I feel like Ive barely seen him or spent any time with him. I start to blame myself for him not advancing with foods or crawling because I’m not around. He’s with different family members every week and nothing’s consistent. Every person does different things with him and it’s out of my control. Sure, I could tell them what I want but he’s not in the same environment so it’ll always be different. Can you tell this stresses me out? You can tell me he’s fine but I’ll still always stress about it. To say I’m jealous of my friends who get to spend more time with their babies would be an understatement. Soak it all in mamas because you’re fucking lucky and it really sucks to work while your first born is growing and you feel like you’re missing everything. Yeah, I didn’t mean to complain but there it is. Nobody at work understands so I never really have anyone to talk to. They tell me they’re tired at work and I believe it because I know what that tired feels like, but my tired is much different.

This sort of brings me to my next discussion…since today is the last day of 2018, a lot of people are posting their best memories and top 9 photos of 2018. It’s awesome. That’s why social media is great, because you can share things that made/make you happy and share beautiful photos. But it also sucks if you had a shit year and you go on social media and you’re reminded that your year sucked compared to the person who got the job promotion or the person who bought a house. Listen, I totally get it. My year started off grieving over the loss of someone so so special to me (it’s her birthday today, btw). Then I ended up in the hospital due to my blood sugars and I wasn’t sure how my unborn baby was doing and every day I’d fear I’d lose him or if I ate a cookie that I’d somehow make him deformed or whatever. I also felt really isolated during my pregnancy. Jesse played a lot of video games and when he’d come home I’d just go into the baby’s room or my room and sit and listen to music or go on my phone. I was always alone. It was depressing as hell. The greatest day of the year was when Levi was born, no doubt. But after he was born I felt sick and vomited right after. Then trying to breastfeed was a nightmare so I dealt with that battle. During my time off I actually gained weight so I was extremely self conscious and I remember never wanting anyone to see me because I hated my body and I hated how I looked in any type of clothing. My thighs got bigger, my stomach was different. Then I dealt with a new bodily issue. I haven’t talked about it on here yet but I guess today’s the day. I used to deal with having what I thought was IBS. I never had issues going to the bathroom. Now, I go maybe once a day or maybe once every couple days. Every Bowel movement hurts. No matter how much water or fiber I intake, it hurts. Yes, I’ve gotten checked out and supposedly everything is fine. But that sucks. It’s gotten a little better but it’s still painful. TMI should be my middle name, huh? After going back to work and always being stressed out I’ve dealt with a lot of my own demons that I try to suppress. I get mad easily and it’s actually embarrassing. Jesse puts up with a lot from me and my roller coaster of Emotions. I’m trying to figure myself out and how I can stay more calm but I feel anxious a lot. Lately I’ve been so sad about life and where I’m at. If you looked at my life you might think I have it all but when I see it, there’s so much more that I want and that’s my problem. I have so much and I’m so grateful but sometimes it’s easy to go on social media and compare lives. I’m kind of writing all of this so that if anyone feels like they had a crappy year and are comparing themselves to everyone who had a great year…don’t worry you’re not alone! Maybe my year doesn’t sound difficult to you but it was for me. There’s a lot of comparing myself to others or comparing Levi to other babies. Work stresses me out and now that I’m working five days and barely being able to spend time with Levi, I’m always sad. Like, always. Nobody gets it though. When I talk about it I feel like they just thinking I’m whining. I’m so glad I’m able to work and have a job and making money is awesome but it’s like I’m trying to get a breath of fresh air and I just keep sinking. It’s really hard.

I’d say my year was amazing because I have the perfect, sweetest, cutest baby boy that I’m so obsessed with but I also had a very very hard year dealing with my mental health. I’m still struggling. The holidays have been nice but also sad because of my nana not being here so it’s been hard to enjoy 100%. I’m lucky to have a partner that sticks by my side through all my personal hardships, and our own. We’ve argued a lot this year. Having a baby is hard work and things get tough sometimes but I have to say that our love for each other and our family outweighs all the bad. Our relationship will never be perfect (nobody’s is no matter how hard you try to front on Instagram!) but it is worth it. I wouldn’t trade my little family for the world. I love us.

So I hope this new year will bring good health and plenty of happiness to anyone reading this. Just remember that any type of hardship you face, you can and will get through it. I promise.

Happy new year everyone.

Christmas Pictures & Stressful Work Week.

I’m finally sharing my Christmas pictures that I took a couple of weeks ago with family and friends! I was trying to keep it a secret because I wanted our Christmas cards to be a surprise. I absolutely love how they turned out, even though Levi was pretty confused the entire process, haha. On the way to our appointment he fell asleep in the car so when we got there he had no idea what was going on. We couldn’t really get him to smile much but he wasn’t fussy until the very end, so I’d say it was still successful! I’ve always wanted to do a family Christmas card so I forced Jesse to do this with me and I’ll continue to force him to do it every year…hehe.

Last week I worked five days instead of my usual four and by the end of Saturday I was pretty beat. I was extremely sad because I felt like I hadn’t been with Levi all week because after getting home I only had a couple of hours with him until it was bed time and then we did the same thing the next day, and the next. I have no idea how some parents do it! Obviously it’s kind of a must to work unless your partner makes good money for you not to…Anyways, yeah, I definitely cried about it because I just missed him so much. I can’t expect my coworkers to understand the feeling so I don’t talk about it much. Levi’s been extremely fussy the past few days, too, so I’ve been a bit sleep deprived as well. Jesse was really nice and let me sleep in today (I slept until 7:30) and I took a nap with Levi earlier today which lasted about an hour so that was also quite nice and much needed. We think his top teeth must be coming in because he’s been sucking his bottom lip a lot which is what he did before his bottom teeth came in.

Speaking of Levi, I’ve been feeling like I haven’t been moving as fast as other moms when it comes to introducing solid food. Today I tried scrambled eggs and he gagged so I’ll try them again another day. Maybe the texture? I still haven’t done meat. I wanted to make some sort of soup with chicken and then puree it so that might be done later on in the week. I’ve been wanting to do that for the past few weeks and just haven’t gotten around to it so I need to force myself to do it. Not like meat is a necessity by the way because if I was a vegetarian or vegan I probably would never introduce it to him so I guess that isn’t a huge deal. I’m probably going to introduce peanut butter soon, too. I read to introduce it between 6-8 months instead of the 12 months it used to be. I don’t know. There’s just too many rules and I get all caught up in stuff and I get scared to do it. I also feel like I don’t have as much time as other moms because I’m just go go go and I don’t feed him most of his meals because breakfast and lunch is usually fed by whoever’s watching him that day.

Lately I’ve been wanting to get back into reading, not sure if I mentioned this before but I want to get myself off of social media and into something more mentally stimulating. I know that I’m on my phone for longer than I’d like to admit. I do have to say that I have  cut back a lot since having Levi because I’m so preoccupied with other things, but in my spare time I’m just scrolling and with scrolling comes comparing my life to other people’s lives which isn’t a good thing. I just ordered a book and it came yesterday so I plan on diving into that when I can. My last book took me a while to read because of life just getting in the way and me not having much down time, so I’m sure this book might take some time also. Last week was so exhausting that after I’d put Levi down to sleep I’d go to sleep soon after that. Like, before 10pm or even before 9:30. Maybe that’s late to some but that’s really early for me compared to the time I used to go to bed at.

I’ve also been missing being pregnant lately. I loved my bump and I loved how I looked. Isn’t that wild? Sure I had some aches and pains and walking would get uncomfortable at times but I really miss feeling those little kicks and knowing there was a little baby inside of me. I had a dream recently where I was laying in bed and felt kicks in my stomach and I took a pregnancy test and it came back positive and I was so happy! I was also scared because of my diabetes but I woke up kind of sad that it wasn’t true! Don’t worry, we’re not having another baby anytime soon but we’re going to discuss it more when Levi is a year old. It makes me sad that I can’t be like a “normal” woman and just get off of my BC and be like, “yeah lets try!” because I have to go see a doctor and work really hard to get my blood sugars good and then begin to try to have a baby. I guess it’s just more work for me compared to non-diabetics but it makes me happy that I successfully did it once so I know I can do it again! I’ve always wanted a big family since I didn’t have one so Jesse and I both agree that we want four kids. Minimum of three. I know you’re probably thinking we’re crazy and maybe after our second I won’t want any more but I really want all the babies! I want my house and heart to be full even though I know it’ll be chaotic and everyone will drive me nuts, haha.

This week I have Thursday off so I’m excited to spend time with Levi. Christmas is approaching a bit too fast and I’m not sure how I feel about it. After having Levi I couldn’t wait for the holidays but now I wish I could soak them in a bit more. These weeks are flying by and it makes me sad because I want to slow it all down and enjoy everyone in my life. I’ve been thinking about my Nana a lot and I’ve had random bursts of crying when I think of her so I think it just makes me want to be around my mom a little more. Life can be really hectic sometimes and spending time with people you love may get overlooked but it’s really important to just stop for a second and make time for them! Hope everyone has an easier week than I did last week and don’t forget to tell your loved ones how much you love them and even pay them a little visit!