One Year Old.

Levi’s birthday is today!! It’s pretty much over since he’s passed out and I’m laying in bed. We had such a good day. We started out eating bagels and sausage for breakfast (he loved it), then we went to the Oakland Zoo where we saw all the cute animals! Levi didn’t seem to care for them as much as I thought he would have, I think he liked the stroller ride the most since he loves going on walks in his stroller. We ate at this cute Mexican restaurant in Berkeley for lunch and then headed home and waited for my parents and brother to come over for dinner. After dinner Levi had his first taste of a cupcake! Okay, so I’ve totally given him frosting before, and cake, and ice cream because I’m that mom who has a sweet tooth as it is. We let him eat some frosting and about 1/2 of the cupcake before we ended that sugar high situation, haha.

I don’t have much to say as a newly stay at home mama so I’ll make this post all about him (as it should be).

He has a tooth up top about to come down. He’s a crazy couch surfer and I’m sure he’ll be walking in a month or so. He’s HILARIOUS and always keeps us laughing. His smile is so contagious. His hair is still awesome as ever and someone always comments on it without a fail anytime we go out and about. He’s got the cutest chunker legs that I just want to eat up. He’s stubborn. He knows how to sip from straws and sippy cups now but refuses to do so. He still loves looking out the window to watch the cars go by. He doesn’t really like the feeling of grass so we have to put a towel down for him to sit out front. He knows who Mickey Mouse is and will go get him for you if you ask him where Mickey Mouse is. He loves his books and will sit and flip the pages for the longest time. He’s a huge meat eater and loves any kind of meat we’ve given him (total opposite of his mama). He says all kinds of things these days and just babbles on and on. Still loves sleeping with mom and dad so he starts the night out in the crib but always ends up back in bed with us. He still drinks 4oz of milk in the middle of the night (I am going to try so hard to stop that now that I’m off!). He loves our cat more than our dog which melts my heart if he grows up to be a cat loving man. He loves playing with his LEGO blocks, I think they’re his favorite. He loves being chased and thinks it’s hilarious once I “get him” and tickle his belly.

He is our entire world. I just want to cry thinking about how much joy he’s brought into my life. Sometimes I get so scared having any kinds of thoughts of losing him. Like, if I hear about young babies or kids getting hurt or something it just freaks me out and makes me want to cry because I couldn’t even imagine losing him. I will forever protect my baby boy as much as I can. Although being a parent is not easy at all, I am so happy I am a mom. His mom. I really got lucky to have such a happy baby. As much as I want to go back and experience the first day he arrived on this earth, I can’t wait to see what kind of person he turns out to be because I’m already so proud of who he is today.

Happy first birthday bubba. I love you forever and ever ❤️

My 27th Birthday.

So I know I didn’t write last week and honestly it’s just because I wasn’t in the mood! I was so stressed out and dealing with a lot on my plate that I just didn’t have the time to sit down and write. I enjoy writing so it was a bummer to feel that way. Anyways, my birthday was on the 9th and I had a nice day! Started out going to a local coffee shop and getting a yummy coffee and waffle (that was TO DIE FOR, seriously). I spent the day with Levi and we went on a nice walk and waited until dinner to be with the family. We went to Mary’s Pizza Shack because it’s pretty kid friendly and I wanted something easy. I devoured my food and then afterwards we went to my parents house and had Baskin Robbins ice cream cake. Was I really celebrating my 27th birthday? Or was I celebrating my 10th? Haha.

The weekend before my birthday was really nice. I worked on Saturday and then on Sunday (the 7th), we went and got some photo’s taken of Levi for spring. I am super excited to get those back! I check my email a thousand times a day waiting for them to arrive! We went and got lunch after the photos and then drove back home. My parents came over to our house to watch Levi while Jesse took me out to dinner. We went to this nice little restaurant in this small town and I actually had an alcoholic drink! If you know me you know I don’t drink at all, so this was a big deal. It was actually delicious and I’d totally go back and get another one! It was a really nice dinner and I liked being taken out 🙂

SO after all of that from last weekend, I spent the rest of last week stressing about Jesse going on a fishing trip from Thursday-Sunday. I took Levi and Wilson over to my parents house and my mom watched Levi for me Thursday and Friday and I took the weekend off of work so that she could have a break since she was alone. My dad went on the fishing trip, too. She was exhausted to say the least and I can’t blame her! I had a nice time with her, though. I got Hello Fresh delivered so that we could have dinners already planned out for us! Smart, huh? We went to Target early Sunday morning so that we could beat the rush and I scored on a ton of clothes. Have you ever had one of those shopping trips where you don’t try on anything and it all ends up fitting you and looking fabulous? Yeah, it was like that. Anyways, it’s really nice to be back home now with Jesse. I really missed him. Where he went, there was no cell reception so I didn’t get to talk to him unless he drove out to a local store or something like that.

I signed up for the gym a few weeks ago and last Saturday I went for a training appointment (everyone gets one free session when they sign up) and I completely failed. The session was only 25 minutes and I couldn’t even last because I wanted to puke and I felt so dizzy. I think I was dehydrated but holy crap was I embarrassed. I’m still embarrassed. Like, should I just quit the gym and never show my face ever again? I won’t do that but I feel like it. I’m also still so freaking sore. My legs were sore just after doing the 10  minutes that I was able to push through. Yesterday I could hardly walk and today I’m still sore! I really haven’t been doing much since I quit the personal trainer over a month ago. The girl at the gym seemed annoyed that I didn’t want to sign up for a personal trainer and I tried to explain to her that I’ll be quitting my job soon so I won’t be able to afford it and she just blankly stared at me. Whatevs. I really want to lose weight and it’s so annoying because I know exactly what to do to lose the weight but I catch myself making stupid mistakes. I’m hoping once I’m off work I can really focus on my nutrition because it’s so important.

Okay, enough about me. Levi now has his two front teeth popped out! He is so freaking adorable I can’t handle the cuteness. He’s making a new sound as he talks now and it sounds hilarious and I love it. He crawls like a maniac and also stand up so quickly using anything he can get his hands on to help him up. We’re still trying the whole sippy cup transition and it’s taking time but he’s finally mastered sipping the puree out of those puree packs and we also have a sippy cup with a straw and he knows how to use that now! Progress for sure. I just need him to drink his milk out of there. He’s been taking only one nap for the past several days and I think that’s going to be his new normal now, which I guess I don’t mind too much. He’s been sleeping in his crib for the first half of the night and taking only one bottle now! If he wakes up any other times he’s easily coaxed back to sleep by us rubbing his back. I still wish we had a chair in his room because I don’t like that he comes back into our bed for the second half of his sleep but trying to get Jesse to buy a chair is like pulling teeth I tell ya! I don’t think Levi will be walking by his birthday but maybe in another month or so he’ll be walking on his own! I still can’t wrap my head around a little person just walking around my house. He grew up so fast! His birthday is next week and we plan on taking him to the zoo for the first time so I hope it all works out and we’re able to go because I think it would be so much fun for him!

 

Things I Thought I’d Never Do.

1. I THOUGHT I WOULDN’T LET LEVI WATCH TV.

I seriously thought I never wanted him to watch TV. I mean, there’s nothing educational right now for him, right? Well shit happens and you have a fussy baby and the only thing that’ll keep him quiet so you can cook dinner is letting him watch baby shark on YouTube. Or in the morning when he wakes up at 4:48AM and putting on Nick Jr so that he’ll be content for an extra 10-15 minutes instead of kicking you and crawling all over you. It’s necessary and I shall never judge another mama for doing that!

I actually can’t stand him watching TV for long periods of time so it’s not like I’m letting him watch it for an hour or more. I hate seeing him zoned onto the screen instead of playing with his toys and that’s just how I feel personally. I really don’t care what other moms do because hey, we need a break every so often and that’s OK!

2. I THOUGHT PACKAGED BABY FOOD WAS THE DEVIL.

I had a goal of never feeding Levi Gerber baby food. Well, that didn’t last long. I actually started out making him his own purées but once he started going to my in laws they started feeding him pre made baby food. I was actually really upset about it at the time especially because I worked hard to make him his own food. So then I bought organic only baby food and then people started giving him Gerber baby food which also bothered me because I didn’t like all the added stuff in it.

Fast forward to now where Levi has eaten a ton of Gerber baby food. We actually feed him mostly what we eat and less pre made food (except puréed fruit since he won’t eat the real stuff because picky!). It actually helped him eat textures and I can’t believe how against it I was. For some reason I just thought it wasn’t healthy for him and I was so delusional.

3. I THOUGHT PEOPLE WHO LET THEIR BABY SLEEP WITH THEM WERE STUPID.

“Like, omg, you’re baby sleeps with you and not in their own room?!”

That was me. Before having a baby. Before learning how hard it was to wake up multiple times in the middle of the night to feed my baby AND wake up at 5:30 to get ready for work. F that.

Okay so I know SIDS exists and it’s actually scary AF so if you’re smart and have more determination than I do, stick to putting your little one in the crib. But I’m stupid and lazy and also love sleep so my kid sleeps with us at night. I love it to be honest. I love waking up next to him but I also get anxiety when I think about SIDS. I’m actually trying to put him into the crib at night now (he’s in it now!) but he always ends up back in our bed because he’ll wake up every 30 mins or so crying/screaming and when we’re tired we just give in. Judge us. It’s a work in progress. For our next kid though, that baby is never sleeping in our bed so that I don’t have to deal with this problem ever again, lol. I love the company but also want my bed back *shrugs*.

4. I’D NEVER LET MY ANIMALS NEAR MY SON.

So after working where I work and just knowing that animals are animals and are unpredictable, I thought I’d never let Wilson or Moka near Levi.

So I’ll just say this, I don’t let Levi touch them because I know Wilson wouldn’t like to be pulled on and Moka also wouldn’t like to be pulled on. I mean, what animal would? Wilson’s actually amazing and ignores Levi and I love it because I don’t have to deal with keeping him away from Levi or him getting in his face. Moka will get close to Levi and there have been times Levi has pet her head or touched her back and she’s never swat at him or hissed or done anything negative. With all that being said, I thought I’d never let Levi interact with our pets as much as I have. I’m definitely not saying to go and let your baby go all over your pets. You should never do that!! That’s just asking for trouble. I think exposing them all to each other is actually beneficial, though. Just always be present!

5. I’D NEVER JUDGE MY BODY AFTER PREGNANCY.

I always thought moms who were so harsh on themselves after giving birth were idiots. Like, you just grew a human being!! Why would you get frustrated with yourself? You should love your cellulite and stretch marks and flabby stomach!!

Then I became a mom. Then I had this whole new body I’d never seen before. My clothes didn’t fit and I hated myself so much that I ate my feelings and gained weight so that I never wanted to leave the house. I didn’t even want to get dressed or let anyone see me. I never got a lot of stretch marks so I wasn’t insecure about the ones I did get but I was for sure insecure about the weight I gained after giving birth. What happened to bouncing back?? Why not me but those girls on Instagram?

Point is, I get it now. No matter how many births you go through I’m sure your after birth baby bod will always feel unfamiliar. Even though I’m starting to feel comfortable in my own skin again, I know I’ll go through these feelings again sometime down the road. I want to tell myself not to beat myself up because I did something so miraculous but that’ll be hard to do. Loving myself is and always will be a journey.

What are some things you thought you’d never do before having a baby? Isn’t it so wild how your thoughts and opinions change? One thing I don’t ever want to do is introduce Levi to an iPad. When I see kids with iPads I cringe so hard. But hey….shit happens and I might change my mind in a few years (praying I don’t, haha).

11 Months Old.

Okay soooo since I didn’t write last week (too much life going on), I’ll fill you in on everything that happened! Remember my last post when I mentioned a surprise? Yeah, I adopted a puppy from my work. I fell in love with her the moment I interacted with her on her intake. She was a chihuahua/corgi mix and she was ADORABLE. Still is, of course. So anyways, she went out to foster for a couple of weeks and when she came back I took her home and my work let me try it out for a couple of days before I made the big decision. It was tough, but Jesse said he wanted to adopt her so we did. We adopted her on a Friday and then over the weekend we both realized we made the wrong decision because it was very difficult to take care of a puppy and Levi since they both required so much attention. I won’t go into full detail because my heart still hurts but we ended up returning her back to my work. She’s since been adopted by a younger woman who can give her all the love and attention she needs. I had named her Penelope and we called her P Nelly. She was the absolute best pupper and I’m devastated that it wasn’t the right time in our lives to have her in it. It was the most difficult decision I’ve had to make thus far. I definitely didn’t want to bring her back but I had to do what was right for her and my family. You know, working at a shelter I would see families return puppies all the time and think, “Damn, what idiots. OF COURSE it’s going to be a lot of work to have a puppy with kids!” …and here I am doing the exact same thing. I guess I just underestimated all the work since I loved her so much. She was the perfect puppy, though. Super easy going and chill and cute and literally perfect. I hope she has the best life and gets all the cuddles and love because she deserves it.

Okay, now that I’m crying…let’s move on to my other news. I am quitting my job. Kind of backwards since a lot of moms seem to quit their job right after having their baby instead of a year later but it’s what we’ve decided to do. Jesse and I really want to spend time together with Levi as a family during the summer and holiday’s. I can’t really tell how long I’m going to off for because it’s the weirdest feeling to me right now. I like having a job and going to work (most days, haha) and having somewhat of a social life. I also like making my own money and being able to pay my own bills and all of that stuff. So, it’ll be different. But I am really looking forward to spending time with Levi and Jesse. It’s going to be so nice to finally be with them. I feel like I’ve missed out on so much for some reason. I don’t have a regular 9-5 job and my schedule isn’t always the same so it’s hard sometimes to spend quality time with them. Sunday’s will now be days for relaxing instead of house chores and grocery shopping. It’ll be a nice change. My last day will be the 19th of April, so I have a few weeks left.

Not much has changed in our house except that Levi now has his top teeth coming in, which I could have talked about in the last post? I should probably reread those before I write another blog post, haha. Anyways, They’ve been hiding in his gums for a while and now one tooth has finally poked through! The other doesn’t seem to far behind. He’s been eating like a champ. We’re still working on the sippy cup thing. Damn, I wish someone warned me how freakin hard it is to teach them how to use a sippy cup! Geez, I feel so behind. I keep having to remind myself that he’ll be OK if he doesn’t learn right away and he’ll learn eventually. #WorkingMomsGuilt. I just love my chunker so much and I can’t believe he’s 11 MONTHS! I’m still in the process of planning his birthday party. I really don’t want it to be over the top but I still want a theme and I want it to be cute. I can’t believe he’s going to be an entire year old. We’re also trying to transition him into his crib full time. He’s good about taking naps in there but he’s stubborn when it’s bed time. I’m just terrified of SIDS now that he moves around so much. I actually feel like it’s easier when they’re smaller because if you don’t move then they’ll be fine but now he’s all over the place and it scares me!

Last night I hung out with my friends and went to a Korean BBQ place and man oh man was that delicious! I’ve never been before and I already can’t wait to go back. I’m usually not into eating so much meat but it was so flavorful and….my mouth is drooling already. My blood sugars have been pretty high lately and I’m not sure why so I’ve been pretty unhappy about that as of late. It really messes with my mood and gets me sad. I’m waiting to get paid so that I can sign up to the gym because I really miss working out! I’ve done it at home a couple of times but it’s just not the same for me. I really want to focus on my health and I’ve been so stressed out lately with everything that’s going on that I’ve been stress eating and not choosing the healthiest foods.

Levi’s asleep and I’ve already cleaned the downstairs part of my house and now I’m too tired to work on the upstairs. One of the things I also look forward to being off is all the home projects I’ll finally have time for. I have picture frames I’ve been wanting to hang up for about a month now and they’ve just been sitting there collecting dust. You’d think I’d have time for hanging picture frames but I don’t. And Levi’s room is a disaster. There’s a pile of clothes just collecting on the floor every time he outgrows something. I want to donate most of it but I have to go through it. Also, anyone have an idea of where I can donate all of those clothes? I guess I could do Goodwill but I wanted them to go to someone who might need them more, like a shelter or something. I’ll do some research.

 

We Have A Stander.

Well, an assisted stander. Levi is pulling himself up using the couch/us like it’s nobody’s business! It’s so wild to see how quickly he’s learned to do this. It’s absolutely amazing to me. I really feel like he’ll be walking in a month or so. I mean, he seems determined!

We’ve fed him more solids as of late and he’s been such a good eater!! After all those days of worrying and crying, thinking I was making him slow down because I wasn’t there enough for him. It feels good to see him progress as much as he has. I made chicken noodle soup last night and I drained the liquid for his portion and chopped up all the noodles and veggies and he loved it! He had it again for lunch today and ate it all! It makes me so so happy.

This is my last week of the gym! I’m pretty sad about it because that means I have to join a real gym *gulp*. I am a lot more confident in the gym, don’t get me wrong, but it’s nice to have someone tell you what to do and how to do it. It’ll be greatly missed! I’ve been 50/50 with my diet. Some days are better than others. I’ve been quite emotional lately so I’ve been eating more than usual which is what I do when I’m feeling down. So that’s shitty.

Over the weekend I went to a Paint Your Pet class that my work had and I painted Wilson! It was a fun experience for sure and Jesse hung up my painting right when I got home which I thought was so cute!! He totally doubted my painting skills before I went in so it was nice to prove to him that I could do it! So since I had Saturday off to do that, we also did our grocery shopping on Saturday which meant that Sunday was lazy day!! I don’t remember the last time I had a lazy day with Levi and Jesse! Literally did like three loads of laundry, Jesse let me sleep in, and we just chilled and did nothing all day and it was so amazing. I loved it and I was so sad that it had to end.

Today I worked out and then went to TJ Maxx and Whole Foods with Levi. I looove taking him places with me! He’s always so good. We finally got a basket for his toys! 12.99 people! Like, I almost bought one at target for $25. Tj Maxx is the place to go for stuff like that. I’m so cheap, haha.

Anyways, I’m excited for this week. There might be a surprise! I’ll have to update you all next Monday 😉

He Eats!

(Feeling uninspired for a yummy salad? Add some bacon, seasoned chicken, and hard boiled egg! Not shown are the chopped veggies at the bottom of the bowl lol)

We’ve made some great strides in the past few days with new foods! Levi really likes waffles and meat! He had his first taste of some pulled pork at a BBQ restaurant close by and he was obsessed. I know it had BBQ sauce on it and it might just have tons of sugar but hey, I don’t want him eating bland food because I want him to experience all types of flavors! Tonight I made a salad with chicken that I seasoned with Italian seasoning and I tore it into little pieces and he was a total fan of that, too. I am so proud of him! I was feeling sad earlier because I saw a photo of how much a toddler should eat (I know he isn’t a toddler yet) and I was like, damn, Levi definitely doesn’t eat that much solids in a day. I was feeling like a failure, again, for not being home with him all the time to control what and when he eats. I don’t have all the time in the world to make baby muffins or pancakes or whatever stay at home moms make for their babies. I know working moms do it too, but I’m hoping you get what I’m saying.

Anyways, he’s still crawling around and is totally obsessed with standing and using the couch or us to hold himself up. I’m not sure if he’s been doing this and I haven’t noticed but yesterday I saw him go into sitting from laying on his tummy. Like, when was he capable of this?! I was so proud of him! I have no idea when he started doing that but it had to have been recent. Saturday night my parents watched him overnight so me and Jesse could do a date night and have an uninterrupted sleep! How cool is that? Our date night consisted of In N Out and Target and then getting into bed almost immediately after getting home. We were both exhausted. I had to work that day and didn’t get off until 7 so I was really tired already. As soon as I woke up in the morning I wanted to get Levi because I missed him so much. I didn’t even get to sleep in, I woke up at 6:30.

We finally got a real high chair for Levi and I love it! We got rid of the pack and play that we had downstairs because anytime we put Levi in it, he would just stand up and hold onto the table and we were scared he would fall out. We could have lowered the mattress to the bottom to be more of a play pen but the thought of confining him to that small area seemed dumb because I’d rather just put him on the living room floor. My house is pretty compact so it’s not like he’s ever far away from me if I’m in the kitchen and he’s in the living room so it’s not a big deal. It definitely frees up a lot of space in our house, though! It’s nice to get rid of some baby stuff, as much as I miss him being small. I actually can’t wait until he no longer needs formula because I really want to get rid of the bottles! I know he’ll still drink from bottles but I don’t like the thing we hang our bottles on to dry, it takes up space on my counter and just creates more clutter.

We’re getting ready for Levi’s first birthday and I’m trying to come up with all the details so I won’t be stressed out. I’m getting excited for it! Pizza and cupcakes, we’re keeping it simple! We have a clubhouse behind our home where we live and we might have the party there because I feel bad using my parents’ house and I don’t want them to stress about having people over. We’ll probably just use the clubhouse, which I think is free because we have HOA fees so it probably pays for it? I have no idea actually. Just another thing we have to check out.

Lately I’ve been having issues with my blood sugars, which I think I might have mentioned last week so I recently added a unit to my long lasting insulin for the mornings and it seems to have helped me throughout the day. I have woken up twice with blood sugars under 120! Awesome! And to those who might be wondering, no, I’m not trying to get good blood sugars to have a baby. I just really want to be healthy and when I was trying for a baby and while I was pregnant I had the best blood sugars I’ve ever had while having diabetes and it was awesome. It was a lot of hard work and I don’t plan to be that strict but I do want to be healthy like that again. It’s so important for anyone with diabetes!

I want to end this post with something I was thinking about earlier today and that is to really appreciate your life and where you’re at. Everyone is so different and I know I’ve talked about social media and how easy it is to compare yourself to others but I caught myself doing it the other day and it made me feel so shitty. I follow someone who has multiple kids, dogs, a home, a marriage, good paying jobs, and it made me want that. WHY WOULD I WANT THAT? I already have a family, two pets, and a home. But I don’t have that marriage. I don’t have a good paying job. The thing is, I haven’t’ worked for a good paying job, you know what I mean? Why should I have something that I haven’t worked for? The marriage thing is a work in progress, lol. My time will come one day but it isn’t that important when I really stop to think about it. People get married to start their lives together, right? Well we’ve already started ours, we just skipped a step and that’s OK. It’s OK to skip steps. I think what I’m really trying to say is that there’s this whole perception that after high school you need to go to college and then get a great job that pays well and then you get married and buy a home and start a family. It doesn’t need to be that way, though. It sucks that that’s what people want, exactly in that order. And if you don’t do it in that order then you’ve messed up or if you’ve skipped a step you’ve messed up. Who cares if you still live with your parents and you’re 25 or that you work as a cashier or that you had kids before you got married. It shouldn’t define you or your happiness. When I stop to think about all that I have I’m reminded of how blessed I am. I think everyone is blessed in their own ways, you just have to stop and think about it all. If you live at home with your parents or a family member maybe that means you get to save money or travel more than someone who doesn’t. If you live with a partner that means you get to spend time with them and don’t have to worry about long distance, etc etc. There’s pro’s to every situation, you just have to think about it.

Hopefully that helps anyone who might be going through a social media depression of comparing your life to someone else’s. It helped me.

10 Months Old.

Guys. Levi is officially 10 months old (and a few days). He has a tooth on the top that’s slightly peeking through…which is causing him some trouble lately. He’s been extremely fussy at home but of course is the perfect angel when we’re out and about. The nights have been rough for all of us. He’s been waking up crying a lot and I hate to give him Tylenol for the pain but I have been at night just to help. He’s been obsessed with standing and walking around while we hold his arms up for support. He’s crawling a lot more, but still has his moments where he’s stubborn and will cry and whine if he wants to be held. He’s currently crawling all over the floor playing with a block and I’m so proud of him!

Today since he was so fussy, I decided to take him to Michael’s and Hobby Lobby. I’ve been on the lookout for a cute basket for downstairs to place some of his toys in and I’ve had no luck. Who knew baskets were so expensive?! I’m too cheap to be spending $30+ on a damn basket. I don’t want a wicker basket, I want like, a linen basket? I don’t know the proper names of things so whatever. We also got him a real high chair today! We went to Buy Buy Baby and picked one out and I’m so excited to use it! I’m tired of using the chair that hooks up to a dining chair. We got that because our house is super tiny so I wanted to save space but now I’m annoyed with it and I feel like he needs something nicer and bigger. Yesterday was also an errand day. We went to Costco and Safeway. Also had to stop by Ulta to pick up a couple of items. Last week I wasn’t feeling the best and I honestly thought I had mold poisoning. MOLD POISONING. It was just allergies 🙂 haha. I found spots on my beauty blender and thought it was mold so I threw it out. I mean, it could have been mold I’m not sure but after I threw it out I realized I had no foundation brushes and no more beauty blenders. I put my foundation on with my hands the rest of the week. I used to do that when I first started doing my makeup and wow, what a throw back. I hated it. The feeling of foundation on my fingers and not being able to blend out everything really disturbed me but it was better than going bare-faced. I’ve been taking some allergy meds and I’m feeling a lot better so yay for realizing I didn’t have mold poisoning!

Today was weird. I’ve been suuuper emotional. After my workout this morning (which was awesome), I came home so sad and started crying. I’m not really sure where the sadness came from. Maybe because I have to work tomorrow?  My house is a disaster? Dishes weren’t clean? I don’t know. I’ve also been having really bad blood sugars lately and it seems like no matter what I do, I’m always running high. I should probably see my endo soon to help me with this but it’s for sure affecting me. It’s really frustrating. It’s hard taking care of yourself when you’re taking care of your family, too. I was telling Jesse that I haven’t had a pedicure since before I had Levi. I’m not a manicure girl because my jobs always seem to ruin my nails but I love having my toes done! I’ve also had a gift card for a facial for almost a year now and I’ve had zero time to go and do it. I should really set some time aside for myself.  Everyone should every once in a while.

This week’s goals are to find a day to pamper myself and to work harder at my blood sugars and eating healthier. There was a day last week where I packed a really good lunch and snacks and I ended up eating so bad the entire day because we had an event at work where they catered Mexican food. It was so good that I ate it the entire day I was at work, but it did nothing for me health wise. Anyways, I’m hoping this week will be much different! Sending good vibes to everyone, and make some goals for yourself this week! Reward yourself once you complete them, too.

 

Finally A Crawler.

Alright, guys, he’s finally doing it. He’s crawling! It’s a cute army crawl and he kind of crawls like a wounded soldier (hate to compare it to that, but it’s true). He crawls to things he wants like toys and mommy of course but sometimes he gets frustrated and puts his head down and pouts if we make him crawl to something. At least he can do it so that’s all that matters to me! I was vacuuming earlier and he crawled around the corner of the wall to watch me because he’s always so fascinated when I vacuum. It was so cute!

Another big moment that happened just yesterday was that he finally ate baby food that had chunks in it and didn’t gag! Woohoo! It’s a mac and cheese with little pasta pearls in it. He loves the pureed version of mac and cheese and when I tried this chunky one a week or so ago, he gagged and spit up all the pasta pearls and yesterday he ate them. So happy! I also fed him a piece of my English muffin and he loved it! I’ve really enjoyed my time with him yesterday and today. It makes me extremely sad to go to work tomorrow.

I was lucky enough to have an extra day off of work this week and I’m already 10x happier this week. It makes working the harder weeks worth it, I suppose. I had an awesome workout yesterday that I really wanted to try and do today at home but today sucked ass in terms of self motivation and I overall just felt like crap all day. I’ve had this lingering feeling as if I’m going to get sick but I don’t end up getting sick? I think it’s allergies honestly but it’s still a crappy feeling. I was exhausted all day today and when I tried to take a nap with Levi my Dexcom alerted me that I was having a low blood sugar so I had to get up from my nice deep sleep. This leads me to a small story time about what happened when I went to go treat my low blood sugar. I went and got a small apple juice and drank that and then I went to go have some leftover pizza in the fridge. I squirt what I think is ranch onto the foil and dip my pizza into it and take a nice, big bite. As I’m chewing I look down and think, “this ranch looks weird” and then I glance over at the squeeze bottle and see that it’s MAYONNAISE. Did you read that correctly? Have you gagged yet? It made me so nauseous for about an hour after just thinking about it. Actually thinking about it right now really grosses me out. So yeah, fun stuff.

I ate a lot of carbs today and I’m pretty mad at myself about it. I started my morning off right with a nice protein smoothie and then later got McDonald’s hash browns that I just seemed to be craving. Then I ate the slice of pizza and ordered Philly Cheesesteak for lunch which I didn’t even end up wanting because of the whole mayo fiasco but I ate my sandwich anyways (I ordered only a half so that’s not as bad, right? And I was too grossed out to eat the fries). For dinner I made garlic butter noodles. Even though it’s carby, it just sounded good after all the shit I ate earlier. Now that I’m typing everything out, I just want to barf. Hopefully tomorrow will be better. I’m sure it will be because I’ll be at work and I’ll be moving around and what not.

So yesterday after the gym I got into my car and saw the check engine light on. I drove home and right as soon as I got into my back parking lot, my car stalled and wouldn’t drive anymore! The gas pedal did nothing. Jesse was able to turn it back on after I had turned the car off and drive into the parking spot but UGH my car sucks right now, or has been for a while. We took it in today to fix whatever was wrong with it so I’m hoping I won’t run into any issues with it for a while. Anyone else waiting for their tax refund to come in? Sheesh. It’s like as soon as you get some money, shit hits the fan and you don’t even get to save any of it! I’ll be good though, it’s okay.

Anyways, I’ve got all my meals planned out for the week and I’m super excited for dinner every night! Sunday night I cooked the BEST dinner I’ve had in a long long time. I don’t usually eat steak or even crave it but I wanted a filet mignon with roasted asparagus and smashed roasted potatoes. It was delicious. I should probably share the recipe….okay if you’ve made it this far then I’ll just tell ya! It was pretty simple…

Get yourself some filet mignon steak. I had two and cut them in half since they were pretty thick. I seasoned with salt, pepper, and a little onion powder. I cooked them in butta baby! I spooned the melted butter over the steaks as I cooked them. I cooked them for about 4 to 5 minutes on each side or until I felt like they were done. Two were thicker than the others so I cooked them a bit longer. They came out perfectly and melted in our mouths! So delish. The asparagus I seasoned with salt and pepper and roasted for 20 minutes at 400 degrees. Roasted asparagus is like CANDY! So so so so so good. For the potatoes I used gold potatoes (the cute small ones) and boiled for about 25 minutes or so until they were soft and fork could pierce through them and then drained them once done. I then placed them on an oiled baking sheet and smashed each potato with a potato masher and I melted butter in a cup and added pressed garlic and parsley flakes and brushed each potato with this deliciousness and broiled the potatoes for about 10 minutes, then topped them with parmesan cheese, salt and pepper and put it back under the broiler for about 5 minutes. Honestly, just go on Pinterest and search baked smashed potatoes or something like that and I’m sure you’ll find a recipe you like. I’m not a huge potato person and just typing about them makes me want them again. Mouth watering good. Have you ever cooked something and had it turn out so good that you wanted to make it again for everyone you love because you want to share it with them? That was me after I ate that dinner the other night, haha.

I hope everyone has a good week, my apologies for getting this blog post out a little late!

A Weird Week Ahead.

So I know I didn’t post yesterday but I figured I’d just do it today. I had nobody to watch Levi for me today so I had to have it off but having today off meant that I have to work on SUNDAY *insert extremely mad emoji + crying emoji*. The one day I get to spend with my family, I have to work. I will forever pout about this issue and I don’t care if anyone thinks it’s annoying. It’s been extremely taxing on my mental health as of late. Don’t get me wrong, I love making my own money and getting out of the house baby-free, but it is really hard because not only am I working on a Sunday, I’m scheduled to close all week which  means Levi will most likely be asleep by the time I get home or he’ll be going to be shortly after I get home so I don’t really get to be with him. I do get to spend time with him in the mornings which are always fun so I’ll just have to soak it all in as much as I can.

Anyways, we tried giving him mac and cheese that had pieces of pasta in it and Levi was NOT a fan. He gagged and spit it out, so that’s great. I feel myself getting frustrated that he hasn’t progressed as fast as other babies and I need to snap out of it. He’s still isn’t crawling but I’m able to get him to kind of crawl when I place his favorite puffs in front of him! It’s a work in progress still. He loves to walk, though! Maybe he’ll get the hang of it in a month or so but he walks everywhere when we hold his arms up for balance.

My personal training is coming to and end pretty soon so I finally went to a gym over the weekend to get a 7 day pass so that I could try it out. I was able to go this morning for about 30 minutes and I was really pleased with the set up and I know if I go often, it wont take me long to get super comfortable there. I already feel more comfortable in a gym setting after all these personal training sessions I’ve had. The only thing I think I’d struggle with is coming up with a plan every time I go to the gym. Last night I wrote down workouts to do and how many sets/reps for each so that when I went today, I’d be more than prepared and I wouldn’t walk around like a deer in headlights. It was a success!

I finally got my cat back from my parents house. I missed her so much and as soon as I let her out of her carrier, my dog went right up to her sniffing her and wagging his tail. It melted my heart for sure! I think he missed her 🙂 I sure did. Well, this is a super short post and I’m sorry there’s not much going on! I’m feeling inspired to get healthy and excited to workout and eat better. I’ve been eating so freaking bad it’s insane. I just have to come up with new ideas to make food exciting again. It’s hard to plan dinner when I close at work because I get home late but last week Jesse made ground turkey taco’s following instructions that I gave him and they turned out awesome so I’m excited for him to make them again this week! We’ve somewhat ditched red meat and are sticking with turkey and chicken. Anyone else get grossed out by ground beef sometimes? Or maybe all of the time, haha. I’m probably more of a vegetarian than I think I am to be honest.

Down and Out.

 

This past week has been a bit uneventful so I’m not sure what to update you all on. I was lucky to have last Thursday off to be with Levi which I cherished 100%. He continued to have his cold through the week and is finally seeming to be better. He only coughs a little bit but it’s nowhere near how it was when he first had it. He’s doing a lot better. Today he’s been pretty fussy so I’m really tired. It seems like everything I try to do to keep him occupied only works for 10 minutes and then he’s bored of it. Doesn’t help that it’s been raining either so I didn’t take him on a walk like I wanted to. It’s windy and when the wind blows it’s super cold so I didn’t want to put him through that, although I’m sure he would have enjoyed getting out of the house.

I worked on Saturday, per usual, and then Sunday was fun family day! We went downtown to the farmers market but then it ended up raining so we weren’t there for long. We then went to my parents house to pick up a few things and headed home around 2 and then I had my tax appointment at 3. Blah, taxes. I didn’t realize how expensive it was going to be this year to file them.

My blood sugars have been extremely poor this past week. I’m not sure if it’s because I’m stressed out about personal things going on in my life or what. I’m talking about always being in the 200’s and last night I was in the 300’s and was high overnight that I ended up correcting but woke up at 180 anyways. For all of my non-diabetic readers, that’s awful blood sugars! I’ve been eating badly, too. It’s like I stopped caring about my health and I need to get on track somehow. I feel uninspired and I think because I had no worries while on vacation, I’ve brought that mentality back home with me? I don’t know.

So while I’m trying to get back on track with being healthy, I’m dealing with working full time this week and dealing with not knowing who’s going to watch Levi during the week. My aunt isn’t able to watch him tomorrow so I was able to get my dad to watch him but I didn’t think that was going to work out so I was panicking and assuming I’d have to call out of work tomorrow. Then, I’m working Thursday so I need to figure out who will watch him then. I don’t like to put him with the same person multiple days in the week because I always feel bad like I’m tiring everyone out because it is tiring taking care of a baby, lets be honest.

I woke up in a depressed mood and I’ve shed a couple of tears today. My emotions are out of whack and I’m probably spending too much time in my own head or something. I already can’t wait for this week to be over with. I have nothing special going on this week except for a doctor appointment via phone call on Wednesday for Levi. I was hoping it would be during my lunch hour but it won’t be, so I’ll have to pull myself away from work for a second since it’s really important. Levi still doesn’t seem interested in crawling but he does love to stand. He’ll stand while holding onto my shirt and if I put him far away from me (while holding his arms), he’ll walk to me and it’s the cutest thing ever. I was able to put him in his crib for his first nap today! It was successful and he slept for about an hour and half and didn’t cry once I put him down. I think I’m going to try to put him down in his crib tonight to see how it goes. I really want to transition him back to his crib by the summer since it’ll be hot and I definitely don’t want to share the bed with him when it’s 100 degrees in our house. The upstairs is always 10x hotter than the downstairs, and sometimes the AC doesn’t make much of a difference. So that’ll be fun. He still only has his two teethers and hasn’t been drooling much today. I’m wondering if his teeth will just randomly come through without notice because every time we think he’s teething hardcore and teeth will pop out, they don’t. He says “dadadadada” and “bababa” all the time and we love it.